Tuesday, July 22, 2008

cursed

Ok....I am going to India and killing someone that works in the Sympatico call center. One more person tells me that my internet problems are related to not having a filter on my phone (which has been the case for 6 + years), I will scream.

Then I'm going to scream at the high speed people shortly too. What in hell? 4 days now. Actually this is day 5. I have things I need to do relating to my photography on the net, I should not be blogging from work, I should be doing from home, and yet I CAN'T!!!!

I emailed Not So Nice Guy last night and suggested that if he doesn't know what in hell he wants perhaps he shouldn't be dating, which insulted him, but I don't much care.

Truthfully, had it been anyone, I would be feeling like I am.

So back up go the walls, I've had it no more men. Enough. It's not worth it, I am in a better head space without them, and I will NOT be getting back on the horse any time soon. If ever. I sometimes feel like it's my lot in life to be alone, and so I'll just go with that.

I might be fabulous, wonderful, cute, funny, bla bla bla (or amazing as a male friend says) but apparently I scare men, intimidate them, and just am generally undesireable to anyone of the male species that *isn't* a friend.

So why bother?

Yep. At that place in my head right now. Each rejection takes a piece of me away, and makes me a blithering mess.

So maybe it's just better to avoid it altogether huh?

2 comments:

Surfergrrl said...

hmmm, wow. not sure I'd say give up. for me what's working is just not having any expectations about anything. just trying to enjoy life (well, even though my job sucks right now, lol!) and seeing what happens. that may change, who knows. everyone is different though.

myself said...

Yeah, I think my frustration stems from the fact that I generally *don't* ever look, these people usually contact me, and I date so very little, that it's just frustration after frustration, and I get so down about it I can't be bothered.

Gah