Saturday, November 20, 2010


So. In 2 weeks I'm moving.

Sale of this place is almost complete. Packing sitch is NOT in any way shape or form anywhere near done. Holy good lord.

I am bittersweet about this. This house meant so much when my ex & I bought it, there was so much hope & promise, new beginnings et al. It's all coming back to me as I pack up my belongings.

But then again, this house also saw the demise of my marriage, housed 2 very unhappy people who were married but so separate, and then 2 people who were separated & living on different floors, and then housed just me. Single me that wasn't able to take care of this house, which, due to neglect during the marriage, when my husband was out of work all the time, or just plain not helping at all, started to fall apart. It ate all my money. I have nothing left. And I have to sell for way below what the house should be valued at, and while I'll clear my mortgage and some expenses, not much will be shown for this house he & I paid CAD 95000.00 for. After all is said and done, it wasn't much of an investment.

I am so looking forward to renting again. Something breaks, it's someone else's problem. I have my rent, my electricity, my internet, my phone, and nothing else to pay.

I'm renting a townhouse. I'm enclosing photos, these are my actual townhouse.

I used to live there, with my ex husband, before we bought the house. I looked at 2, one was the spitting image of the one we had before, this one is a titch smaller, but very updated and doesn't look the same. I fell in love, and so, it's mine.

The staff remember me, amazingly, it was almost 20 years ago, because they remember good tenants, and I'm very happy and relieved.

I'll try to blog, but I'm so behind on everything...if you don't hear from me, it's all good....

Change is good. The relief I'm going to feel is palpable.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

One Match

I'll let Sarah Harmer do the talking....

Friday, November 12, 2010

this n' that (a bit ranty, warning)

So a few things in this life of mine (there will be swearing for the faint of heart).

Company I work for frustrates the fuck out of me. Seriously. They promote being so employee positive bla bla bla (we were purchased about 10 years ago by a very very large American multi-national - which I used to work for - so I know how the core company works intimately as I worked for them). In fact, the department I work most closely with has been ignored by their own manager, are now at critical mass, employees are upset, I'm trying to help them, their own manager is sabotaging them, as is the company itself (financial issues, you know, being American and all). I'm tired of this. They aren't my employees but I'm trying to fight on their behalf and it frustrates the hell out of me that my pleas are falling on deaf ears. It's going to be time for me to move on. Just can't come quickly enough.

I tell you, this team leaves the company, I'm gone too. I don't want to do it without them. They've said the same of me.


I get a text from a friend last night. At this point, I'm using that term pretty loosely.

Asking me if I got a flea ridden rabbit over the weekend. I'm thinking "WTF??" but I'm assuming he means at the SPCA. As much as I love it, I've never said anything but I had to give it up (at least for now) because I have way too much on and was too stretched and it was making me cry (they have 100 for adoption).

I knew he had gotten a rabbit. He gave it to a friend (because he wanted it) and while at the friends it got fleas so the guy got rid of it.

I'm furious. Why do I know these people?


In the same vein, a co-worker, who has asked me a million times about how to adopt from the SPCA, comes into work announcing that he got a kitten and it's a pure bred and it's so cute yadda yadda.

From the pet shop.

It's a mix of Himalayan & Irish something (newsflash, it's a fucking mutt, it's not a fucking purebred).

Informed him that he has just killed about 5 kittens at the SPCA by buying from a pet shop.

"But I saved it!" he informs me. No dude, you just put a bunch of kittens at the SPCA to sleep. And perpetrated the entire cat mill industry. Well fucking done.


My neighbor who is also a friend (although I wonder why seriously).

She cannot be without a man.

So she's started dating a mutual friend, who, while being a good enough guy, is a waster who doesn't have a job, he's a musician (please note, for all I have to do with musicians, I never date them, and there's a reason for that), he lives with his mother (in his defense she's 97 with dementia and he's her only child), has power of attorney over her $$.

All of a sudden my friend is never home. So in a phone convo I ask where she is, I haven't seen her in a while. She's staying at the bf's place. Note that she has 2 cats and 2 dogs. Where are they? Oh they're in the house, she comes once a day. ONCE A DAY!!!!!!!

I said I haven't heard the dogs to which she says "oh maybe they're dead, that would solve all of my problems"

OMG. Why. in. hell. do. I. know. these. people!!!!!!!???!!!

Oh and his mummy is in the hospital, dying, never to leave, and they're playing house without her neglected pets and he bought a new Jeep. Nice.


Enter my best male friend. I've mentioned him before. Used to be my neighbor, had a huge crush on me at one point, feeling is frankly mutual, we've done this dance around each other for years. Travels alot for work. Shares a house with my EX FUCKING HUSBAND??!!?!?!

I shot a concert on Saturday that I had an idea he was going to (if he was in town) emailed and sure, he was.

Sat comes, he's nowhere to be seen, but generally will avoid the opener (I don't know why people do that, they can be so GOOOD), texted him, was on his way (I assumed with his best friend - turns out I was right of course).

Concert started 15 mins early, I got some shots off downstairs and went up to the balcony, large band, wanted some shots from up top as below was very full and there was no pit whatsoever.

I'm standing on the stairs on one side and feel an arm go around my waist and a whisper in my ear "hello...who's that with all the cameras!". I turn to look up at him, big grin on my face (I haven't seen him in months), and put my arm around him, rest my head on his shoulder and all is right with the world.

Please note. We generally avoid touching each other. We are always incredibly awkward in that respect, brush hands and we're apologizing left & right.

His bestie is watching all of this with a look on his face.

Anyway they went and took their seats and I continued to shoot the concert, and because I had no restrictions and the venue was one I can stick around in without getting shot out, I stayed. Loved the band. I couldn't tear myself away if I tried.

So, he walked me to my car. Told his friend that's what he was doing and he could come along if he wanted but, he'd be back if not. Friend came along of course.

Find out he's quit his job, he has always been on tenterhooks with this company, he's a consultant for them, makes a good amount of money, his rent is low because he's sharing, so this isn't a big deal. So we're at my car and he states "we need to get together and have dinner & those drinks" (he was going to make me dinner, and this was a while ago). His friend says "would you two just do it and get it over with please so we can all get on with our lives?".


Anyway. He has this thing. He becomes a hermit. Now, as you may have noticed (ahem) I have a tendency to do the same, so I get it, but now he's hermiting from me, and I don't like it. One thing was that he wouldn't answer his friends, but I was special (hahaha! yep special). Now he doesn't even answer me all the time.

So I just emailed him to ask him what the hell.

I have missed this guy. If he's going thru something, I'd like to know....I adore him, always have, we get along like no one.

And if it has to do with guilt concerning my ex, I'll frigging kill them both. Swear it.

Ok so that's my garbage for the past few weeks. I've had enough. Might I mention that?

Oh yeah, the shittiest bit of the past couple weeks? A friend's brother was feeling sick, went to bed, never woke up. He was 30. She's 4 months pregnant by a man that doesn't want to know. She is obviously devastated, and seeing her pain is killing me. I'm voting an aneurysm of some sort.

Ok enough from me.

Friday, November 5, 2010

and so it continues

The pairing up. Holidays are coming. People are finding a significant other to spend it with.

In my social group, I will soon be the only single person.

Which I guess means I'll have tonnes of time to devote to finding a job overseas.

I'm overjoyed at the prospect.

I can't wait to move. I couldn't get a date here if I tried, in England, for reasons unknown to me (maybe that women look way old before their time over there?), I get hit on constantly.

I have no value here in Montreal. Well except to men I wouldn't date for all the $$ in the world. Sorry. I do have some taste, it may be odd, it may not be the norm, but it is there. And, after a marriage in which I wasn't remotely attracted to my spouse, I am not going there again, ever. He can be the nicest guy, if I'm not attracted to him, I'm not having anything to do with him.

Back to work. The thing I'm good at. Why blog about relationships when this is the one area in which I am a huge failure? It depresses me as is anyway.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I'm trying!

Sorry guys. I'm just too busy recently to do anything.

11-12 hour days at work, packing the house, moving things to storage, finding somewhere else to live temporarily, getting the dogs prepared to move overseas (oh and the cat), trying to get a job over there. Photography.

Yep. Busy.