Tuesday, May 20, 2008

what I want

Ok I'm doing this after being cajoled by friends to do so. They say that in regards to getting what I want in life, I have to put it out there.

Now when it comes to objects of my desire or work related things, I don't have a hell of a problem with that.

Then there's the man thing. I just don't know about that. I will preface all of this with the following. I'm not really looking. I mean, I look at men, but I'm not actively dating because, well, it's a waste of time due to my past experience and generally, I'm pretty much apathetic on the subject.

Yet, after being separated for the past 7 years (almost 8) and having gotten involved only ever so briefly with a couple men, I am getting sort of tired of being just me the single version. Or wondering what's wrong with me (although I suspect it's my "I don't need anyone else" attitude).

So because I was telling the girls last night that I have no idea what I want, but an idea of what I don't want, they told me I need to put out there what it is I do want in a man so that I get it. I don't necessarily believe in this, but I'll do it and make them happy. I'm all about making people happy (yeah right!).

1- a nice man who values family and friends, and will treat me the way I would like to be treated

2- a man that *I* consider attractive, so I'm actually attracted to them (no laughing this has been a problem before, I was married to a man I enjoyed spending time with but wasn't attracted to - you have no idea the problems this creates)

3 - a man that is employed decently (as in someone I don't have to support or isn't going to decide I have to support them because they find out I make a decent salary), and that lives on his own

4 - a man confident enough to understand that I have a good job, a big deal job, I'm ambitious, but that doesn't make him any less a man and his job doesn't have to equal mine (nor does he need to make the money that I do) - been a problem in the past

5 - must love animals. I have a zoo.

6 - a man that has his past dealt with, we all have baggage, it's how we deal with it

7 - a man who has enough confidence to allow me my freedom and not smother me - I'm easily smothered - jealousy and clinging will make me run away quick

8 - patient and tolerant, because I fly off the handle, and I'm mega irritating

8 - a man who is smart

9 - a man who is really, sincerely honest

10 - not an alcoholic, drug addict or sex addict (had one each of the last 2, never again)

There are superficial things like smoking (non thanks) and I'd love a tall man for once (I think only a Montrealer could understand how many short men there are in Montreal - and I'm tall - so the tall men overlook me in favor of the tiny ladies - I'm generally stuck with the shorter guys - not the end of the world, but I don't like to feel like I might crush anyone...if that's ok with the universe). Oh and no past or current criminal issues - this is a biggie, the job I do, I have to be security checked frequently and so do those that I'm involved with romantically. By CSIS (Canadian Security Intelligence Service). I also have a preference for no kids...but then again, that's pretty much negotiable. Met a nice guy a few weekends ago with a daughter, I would be ok with dating him (of course, it always takes them being ok with dating me).

I really don't think I'm asking for much. I don't believe in the fairytale, I don't expect roses and perfection, I'm not clingy, I'm not needy, some (including my ex husband) have said that I'm not much of a girl...heh. Which I'm not.


It's out there. Everybody happy now? :-)

*Edited 21 May 2008 - and I'll keep adding things til I've got requirements so long no man will look at me ever :-D


Technodoll said...

Yes, very happy! Cuz your friends are right, you know.

Want to see something wicked? Prin made such a list last autumn (see? http://furryprincess.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-know-its-cheesy.html) click the link in the post.

She got it all.

I got it all too, even if it wasn't my list, LOL! Vegas read it to me on the phone the other day just to hear me say "yes, unhunh, yes, oh dear god yes".

Men are cute sometimes, teehee!

So. You put it out there... watch karma bring it back to you soon!

myself said...

I went and checked it out and it's VERY cool. Lucky Prin :-)

My girlfriend did the same thing once, and said she forgot on e thing, that he be nice. And she got a guy with all her requirements, but he wasn't a nice guy. So you'll note that was first.

Next guy, she said she wanted her Lindsay Buckingham (she sings, and sounds like Stevie Nicks). She did. Of course she forgot he cheated on Stevie :-O

I'll keep editing it at the encouragement of my cheering team (friends!)

Two Date Diva said...

Way to put it out there!