Friday, May 2, 2008

funeral fun

First Jewish funeral I've ever been to. No, my ex wasn't Jewish, like myself, he's pretty much anti-religion. His sister converted before she married.

I don't think there is anything sadder than the funeral for a young person. It was frankly heartbreaking. Her husband. Wow. Anyone that says he would live the past 4 years of her illness again because there were good times in there is a saint. And why aren't there more men like that? When I consider her family tried to break them up way back when (not my ex...they tried to do that to us as well and he put them in their place as did his sister). He was a true man and took care of both her and their son while she was ill. Quite amazing, considering how soft a man he is.

He fell apart up there on the (ok I'm not Jewish, bear with me here I only know the christian equivalent) altar. Speaking of how she was the most wonderful woman and his best friend. Her siblings including my ex got up there and spoke. I think in the 20 years I've known him it was the first time (except for when his cat died) I've ever seen him cry.

Drove the ex around to the burial and then back to his car. Had a chat with him. Think he was relieved to not be with his immediate family. He wishes it was him and not her, less collateral damage he said. He's probably right. No kids to leave with only one parent.

But man. That service was full. It's a big place, and the place was loaded with people. Amazing. People from work (she hadn't been there for 5 years, hadn't returned from maternity leave before she was diagnosed), friends, family, her doctors.

She was such a positive person. I heard a friend behind me say she talked to her a few days before she died. She couldn't walk 3 steps without being completely exhausted. Her friend asked her how she was and her response was "the best I've felt in a long time!". She was always fine.

We all affect everyone around us. I think that, if there is something good to take from someone young dying, that is what I take with me. What I learn from her.

You know, she had been given 6 months from the day she was diagnosed. And she lasted 4 years, from sheer will to live, try every treatment there was on the off chance it cured her, and see her child grow.

That's strength.

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