Thursday, April 30, 2009

I think, therefore I'm confused

Think I am going to create another blog. Register a domain and review shows. Everybody's doing it, I may as well, it will refer to my photography website. Yep. Sounds like a plan.

Course when I finally do it, well, who the hell knows eh? And it won't be referenced here for privacy reasons. As in, I open my gob way too much and don't want people to see me bitching about them.

It's my bitch blog and if I wasn't so FREAKING passive agressive, I'd confront all of my people demons and deal with them immediately until waiting til things came to a head.

Woulda coulda.

On which note, my friend with the issues is on an upswing mood today, thank geezus. Thing is, I'm never sure when she's going to be snapping at me in anger (and then apologizing for it later, when she's thought about it and realized she's wrong). It's like hitting someone and then saying "I'm sorry", the I'm sorry does eventually lose it's impact and the person is left wishing they'd deal with their issues.

I wish she'd deal with her issues, quit reading self-help books that convince her that everything is the man's problem and that she deserves so much better, and just deal.

You know, I have a male friend that says those things are the bane of his existence, especially when women take them verbatim. We have issues when it comes to relationships past & present, is it not possible that men do too? I have alot of male friends, while they deal with things like break-ups, relationships & feelings differently then women, they still have emotions and still have difficulties dealing.


Yeah. I'm a woman's best friend. You won't hear me saying "you go girl" when a woman "stands up" for herself due to some perceived slight on a man's part. I've seen it happen too many times, this whole issue of a woman taking problems from past relationships and using them against their current love interest. Emotional baggage is and can be a relationship killer, and we women have to remember to take some time between men to straighten ourselves out.

See, my friend, she said she did that, and no, she didn't date anyone for a full year, which for her is unheard of, but don't kid yourself that there weren't interests on her part, and she was still giving off the "I'm looking" vibe even though she gave great lip-service to not looking. I called bullsh*t....and she was having none of it.

Oh well. I mean, believe me, I've had to deal with my own past demons, which were truly horrible, however, I actually took about 2 years of self-imposed non-man territory to do it in. I "still" give off the I'm-not-looking vibe I'm told, which is more habit then anything else.

I don't know. I'd like us to start taking accountability for problems in relationships, our choice of men (a good job, nice car, and hot looks do not the perfect man make). And stop blaming men for absolutely everything that goes wrong in a relationship or the beginning of one, they're human too, although we sometimes wonder....and it drive me insane.

End of rant that wasn't supposed to be a rant...go figure!


d said...

Ugh. I have had friends that I have wanted to shake violently and force into therapy.

Just don't let her bring you down, seriously.

Technodoll said...

D stole the words from my keyboard! LOL

Love your rant-blog, girl... you have the guts to voice what many of us only toy with in our heads!

Good idea for a seperate website for your photos. Most excellent, actually.

Rebecca said...

Excellent advice! I loved it when sometimes my dad would tell me after I complained about a guy, "Honestly, I think you're the problem here." It was so honest and loving and he was right.

Of course, it is hard for me not to take ALL the blame when things go wrong. I always think everything wrong in the relationship is my fault. I guess there needs to be a happy medium of messed up between two people, haha. :)

Surfergrrl said...

she should realize that sometimes the common denominator is her.

myself said...

d - I'm trying not to let her bring me down, while trying not to alienate everyone I know. It's a tight rope to walk, let me tell you....

Technodoll - Yeah unfortunately I have a big ole lack of filter between brain and mouth. Oh well. As for the website, there is something in the works....I'll letcha all know very quickly with a blog entry I'll delete after 24 hours!

Rebecca - she is the problem. Just doesn't see it. A lot of the time previously it was picking nasty men, and when I mean nasty, there were horrible to her. So they way she was treated is the way that she let them treat her. And having done that myself, I totally get it, but she needs to stop this.

Surfergrrl - yup, she is the common denominator. Too bad.