A nice email at 1:30 am - some well meaning convo via FB up to that point.
Nothing helps much at the moment.
If it's not work, it's my personal finances, personal life. If it's not that, it's the abject loneliness I feel, and that I'm completely and utterly alone in this world and everything I do. And will I ever fulfill my wishes, and if I do that, will I ever be happy with my life? Will I ever meet somoene to treat me decently? You'd think that was a simple request in life, but apparently I have a sign on my forehead that reads "even though I will fight you every step of the way, please treat me like shit".
This had better just be a moon thing. Otherwise I may fall over the edge of this flat earth.
Then there's work bullshit. I've had just about enough of the stupid situation that's happening around here, an exec fucking another employee. He's found out it was me that complained about his lack of attention to the work situation & the flaunting of that relationship, and now I'm being mentally abused, excluded from things that affect me directly in my work.
It's no wonder this world is brought to me by Ativan. And that I had stroke-level blood pressure and was admitted to the hospital a few weeks ago.
I want that huge change, and I need to make it happen, and my desire to not get off the sofa or out of bed isn't making it any easier to do all of this.
I do everything I can but some days....I just can't do anymore.
I've arrived at that day once again.