Ok I have to stop freaking myself out.
Everything is fine. I just need to deal with distance and time and I'm being a total dolt.
All it took was a simple text message:
"Miss you"
Let's have a collective "awwwwwwwwww" shall we?
Headaches abound, yeehaw, lucky me.....it's the weather, have a few photography things, but not all are panning out and that's just the way it is at the moment.
Festivals by the tonne.
And that's about all I have at the moment.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
hard
This is really very hard.
I'm here. The Brit is there.
And it'll be August before he makes it here.
Although technology is on our side, it's hard to coordinate without one or the other being inconvenienced.
He's ill at the moment, so going to bed early. Which means before I'm home from work. By the time I'm up in the morning, he's at work. Weekends, we're both respectively busy so we end up on the webcam late for him, talked til 5 am his time one night....poor thing is tired, but won't let me get up early to talk to him.
Bit of a gentleman.
It's barely July, which is a long month, and it'll be even longer waiting.
Man.
I need to learn patience. This has been years in the making.
I'm here. The Brit is there.
And it'll be August before he makes it here.
Although technology is on our side, it's hard to coordinate without one or the other being inconvenienced.
He's ill at the moment, so going to bed early. Which means before I'm home from work. By the time I'm up in the morning, he's at work. Weekends, we're both respectively busy so we end up on the webcam late for him, talked til 5 am his time one night....poor thing is tired, but won't let me get up early to talk to him.
Bit of a gentleman.
It's barely July, which is a long month, and it'll be even longer waiting.
Man.
I need to learn patience. This has been years in the making.
Friday, June 26, 2009
it's like a heatwave
Ok it's not like one, it is one. It was FOUL today. It's currently 26C and it's 12:30 am - relative humidity is 70%. Disgusting.
The Brit won't like this at all.....oh well....
Was just out for an hour walk, have to start training again, had planned on being able to do a half marathon by the end of the summer however, with the knee thing in the winter, that just ain't happening, I have to get my ass in gear and get back to running again. Strangely enough The Brit is doing the same thing right now, same goal I have, although he's already run a half marathon. These 2 chubsters.....hey whatever works.
As a result, I could essentially sleep standing at this point. My god.
The Brit is having a rough time, I find men, generally, are so tied to their jobs as a source of pride, of who they are, more so then women, losing a job after such a long time, he's sort of at a loss. What isn't helping is that he was telling me in the paper this weekend was an article about how 1 posting at McD's got 300 applications.
I'm going to sit here and offer up a something to whatever that Canada hasn't been hit half as badly as other countries. Employers are using the economic downturn because they're assholes, but it really isn't that bad. I know because I'm seeing what comes in import-wise, which generally means that we consumers are buying.
I feel bad for him. I'm not sure I'd know what to do after 19 years. He does have a decent buffer though.
The visit will only actually occur in August as it stands, he's got a few weeks away with his family, and needs to deal with tax issues before he can go anywhere, but has investigated flights already. So did I. Gulp. 'Spensive. *worries he won't come to town*
I do have access to stand by tickets. I have to remember that.
Anyway, I'm even bored by myself right now, I'm tired, hot, sticky, and gross, and need some zzzz's.....
laterzzz
The Brit won't like this at all.....oh well....
Was just out for an hour walk, have to start training again, had planned on being able to do a half marathon by the end of the summer however, with the knee thing in the winter, that just ain't happening, I have to get my ass in gear and get back to running again. Strangely enough The Brit is doing the same thing right now, same goal I have, although he's already run a half marathon. These 2 chubsters.....hey whatever works.
As a result, I could essentially sleep standing at this point. My god.
The Brit is having a rough time, I find men, generally, are so tied to their jobs as a source of pride, of who they are, more so then women, losing a job after such a long time, he's sort of at a loss. What isn't helping is that he was telling me in the paper this weekend was an article about how 1 posting at McD's got 300 applications.
I'm going to sit here and offer up a something to whatever that Canada hasn't been hit half as badly as other countries. Employers are using the economic downturn because they're assholes, but it really isn't that bad. I know because I'm seeing what comes in import-wise, which generally means that we consumers are buying.
I feel bad for him. I'm not sure I'd know what to do after 19 years. He does have a decent buffer though.
The visit will only actually occur in August as it stands, he's got a few weeks away with his family, and needs to deal with tax issues before he can go anywhere, but has investigated flights already. So did I. Gulp. 'Spensive. *worries he won't come to town*
I do have access to stand by tickets. I have to remember that.
Anyway, I'm even bored by myself right now, I'm tired, hot, sticky, and gross, and need some zzzz's.....
laterzzz
Monday, June 22, 2009
brain on vacation
It is currently HERE (see the big red dot of London, with an emphasis on the towns near Heathrow.....): 
I am an idiot. Or have been reduced to one.
Other than time spent smiling like an ass, had a decent weekend.
Gig on Friday night and if it wasn't for copyright issues I'd post a photo of myself from then, but it's not my photo (and I don't want to out myself really). Troubled Friend turned up, and glared at myself and other friends most of the night, and also had the BALLS to complain to our mutual friend that she hadn't taken any photos of her. Um, who does that? My life has been much simpler and less stressful since I've backed off from that relationship, let me tell you. Except it has spread, it's everyone that knows her just about. But everyone is too afraid to say anything to her. I feel an intervention coming on!
My gig was very early, but post-gig I was home rather early also. Sooooo tired. Spent most of Saturday snoozing and some cleaning (I have about 4 weeks to get my place ship shape). Then dinner with my friend, avoiding having to tell Troubled Friend about it (god we're shifty), went down to a place in Chinatown and it was completely amazing, fantastic actually! I needed to be home rather early, because I had an appointment with a web cam.....turned out he was late home from his other job (which he does for fun and profit like I do photography), and I got to see the sunrise in London, England. How amazing is that?
Between being able to actually speak to each other on a web cam, and actually see things like a sunrise in another country entirely, the technology is amazing me. I get text messages from him during the day (oh the meltage at "hi gorgeous", god I'm such an easy woman), and I respond, within seconds I've got a response from a place across the Atlantic. Totally amazing.
Sunday I spent at the SPCA, of course, boy is the place packed, and I received 4 animals yesterday. Spent the afternoon on my feet, was exhausted. Was supposed to go to a BBQ but truthfully, Troubled Friend was in attendance, and I didn't want to see her, and her "look at meeeeee!!!!" ways. Always needs to be about her. So I stayed in, I was exhausted, fell asleep at the computer. Edited photos (still very behind) and was getting texts and eventually instant messages from.....oh what am I going to call him?.....my friend in the UK while he was at his parents place for father's day.
All in all, I was able to rest and relax, which is something I have not done alot of recently. Phew!
Ok back to day dreaming....
I am an idiot. Or have been reduced to one.
Other than time spent smiling like an ass, had a decent weekend.
Gig on Friday night and if it wasn't for copyright issues I'd post a photo of myself from then, but it's not my photo (and I don't want to out myself really). Troubled Friend turned up, and glared at myself and other friends most of the night, and also had the BALLS to complain to our mutual friend that she hadn't taken any photos of her. Um, who does that? My life has been much simpler and less stressful since I've backed off from that relationship, let me tell you. Except it has spread, it's everyone that knows her just about. But everyone is too afraid to say anything to her. I feel an intervention coming on!
My gig was very early, but post-gig I was home rather early also. Sooooo tired. Spent most of Saturday snoozing and some cleaning (I have about 4 weeks to get my place ship shape). Then dinner with my friend, avoiding having to tell Troubled Friend about it (god we're shifty), went down to a place in Chinatown and it was completely amazing, fantastic actually! I needed to be home rather early, because I had an appointment with a web cam.....turned out he was late home from his other job (which he does for fun and profit like I do photography), and I got to see the sunrise in London, England. How amazing is that?
Between being able to actually speak to each other on a web cam, and actually see things like a sunrise in another country entirely, the technology is amazing me. I get text messages from him during the day (oh the meltage at "hi gorgeous", god I'm such an easy woman), and I respond, within seconds I've got a response from a place across the Atlantic. Totally amazing.
Sunday I spent at the SPCA, of course, boy is the place packed, and I received 4 animals yesterday. Spent the afternoon on my feet, was exhausted. Was supposed to go to a BBQ but truthfully, Troubled Friend was in attendance, and I didn't want to see her, and her "look at meeeeee!!!!" ways. Always needs to be about her. So I stayed in, I was exhausted, fell asleep at the computer. Edited photos (still very behind) and was getting texts and eventually instant messages from.....oh what am I going to call him?.....my friend in the UK while he was at his parents place for father's day.
All in all, I was able to rest and relax, which is something I have not done alot of recently. Phew!
Ok back to day dreaming....
Friday, June 19, 2009
ring ring
Nothing like your phone at work ringing for the first time of the day....seeing the number and quickly realizing that it's from UK (which considering I do international transportation isn't out of the question).
It's him. Calling to wish me a good gig tonight and wanting to hear me.
Meltage.
For a woman that doesn't do girly very well, I'm managing.
It's him. Calling to wish me a good gig tonight and wanting to hear me.
Meltage.
For a woman that doesn't do girly very well, I'm managing.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
so here we go
I would like everyone to note a few things.
I am the one that poo poohs the idea of long distance relationships. In fact gives people crap for even considering the idea. It's crazy, it's probably heart-wrenching....I mean what the hell???? Why would you do that to yourself?
I am the person who sits when a male character in a movie says something to the effect of "you're beautiful" and makes gagging sounds and simulates throwing up. Yep. Totally classy b*tch I am!
I am the one without an inch of romance in her body. In fact it makes me cringe completely.
I am the one that hears those stories of long lost love and goes "oh god, puhleezeeeeee!!!!!"
Yeah.
So. One then ponders what the HELL I am thinking doing what I'm doing, planning to speak online (ooo we've both managed how to get voice working, this is going to be a fun talk!), trying to fit it in when it's not too late for him and not too early for me, the one sitting at work getting emails that say "I'm thinking about you" and "why didn't I kiss you back then again?" and melting like a complete idiot. Giggling at the text messages that arrive in seconds from across the pond, who knew back in 1994 (it's not 18 years ago it's 15 years ago) that this would be at all possible?
I can certainly get used to hearing someone tell me I'm beautiful (for those of you that have seen photos of me, while I'm cute, I'm no freaking beauty queen, but eye of the beholder et al).
Ungh. The bizarrity of this whole situation hasn't settled for me, him neither probably.....
And so one foot in front of the other, one step at a time, figure out what hell, spend some time together in person, and decide what to do at that point.
Patience is a virtue. A virtue I do NOT have in spades...well I do sometimes, and other times not. Right now? Not.
Bear with me. I'm just getting my head around this whole situation. I'll stop talking about it shortly I'm sure....
GACK!
I am the one that poo poohs the idea of long distance relationships. In fact gives people crap for even considering the idea. It's crazy, it's probably heart-wrenching....I mean what the hell???? Why would you do that to yourself?
I am the person who sits when a male character in a movie says something to the effect of "you're beautiful" and makes gagging sounds and simulates throwing up. Yep. Totally classy b*tch I am!
I am the one without an inch of romance in her body. In fact it makes me cringe completely.
I am the one that hears those stories of long lost love and goes "oh god, puhleezeeeeee!!!!!"
Yeah.
So. One then ponders what the HELL I am thinking doing what I'm doing, planning to speak online (ooo we've both managed how to get voice working, this is going to be a fun talk!), trying to fit it in when it's not too late for him and not too early for me, the one sitting at work getting emails that say "I'm thinking about you" and "why didn't I kiss you back then again?" and melting like a complete idiot. Giggling at the text messages that arrive in seconds from across the pond, who knew back in 1994 (it's not 18 years ago it's 15 years ago) that this would be at all possible?
I can certainly get used to hearing someone tell me I'm beautiful (for those of you that have seen photos of me, while I'm cute, I'm no freaking beauty queen, but eye of the beholder et al).
Ungh. The bizarrity of this whole situation hasn't settled for me, him neither probably.....
And so one foot in front of the other, one step at a time, figure out what hell, spend some time together in person, and decide what to do at that point.
Patience is a virtue. A virtue I do NOT have in spades...well I do sometimes, and other times not. Right now? Not.
Bear with me. I'm just getting my head around this whole situation. I'll stop talking about it shortly I'm sure....
GACK!
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