why?

Ok I don't normally post in the morning but I have a quick question.

Why is it that I wake up at seven am on the weekend, but during the week, at almost 8 am, I'm still dragging my considerable ass around the house and haven't gotten dressed? (note that if I want to be on time for work, leaving by maybe 10 past 8 is a good idea).

On a happier note, I paid my $2 and I can wear jeans today because I don't have a meeting with a client. Phew! (it's national wear jeans at work day for breast cancer research - don't know if other places do this as well as Canada?)

Ok. My microwave is beeping it's butt off telling me that my oatmeal has been ready for the past 15 minutes....and this lazy ass is still sitting in her jammies in front of the computer.

Asleep. Still asleep, regardless of my trip outdors with the puppers.

Oh and that loud aircraft that just took off over my house. Thank you Lachine, you bunch of asshats. Buy a house near an airport and complain when you hear the aircraft. So now, I get them ALL the time, because, essentially, they have to go somewhere. HELLOOO???? It's a good thing I don't believe in guns and that bodily harm isn't legal, I'd cause it constantly on those I consider buttheads.

And on that note. WORK!

Laters all!

boop boop beee dooo!

Ok so my family.

How they irritate me.

As stated before, mother's 60th on Monday, they were coming for dinner in Montreal (live in Ontario now) and we would celebrate then. I had mentioned to my dad that I have a very busy weekend already, so I would fit that in.

Yeah well younger sister #2 emails me to say that plans have changed, dinner in Ottawa on Saturday, then another luncheon at my uncle's place in the Eastern Townships.

Yeahhhhh. Ok, really, no can do.

I don't have time to be spending 8 hours in a car traveling this weekend. I am busy all day Saturday (appointment with one of the dogs, my personal trainer, then a BBQ/jam I am singing in). Sunday was going to be an entire day devoted to my course that my assignments are due in Toronto Tuesday for (and which I have studied NOTHING of). So not a chance.

Sigh.

Always last minute. Pet peeve of mine that. I get the idea that my family assumes that because I'm single I have nothing to do.

Never fear. I have a very full social life, and a huge responsible job that takes alot of my time, and alot of my energy.

Ugh. Families. You can't pick who you end up with can you?

So I have this migraine today. Oh man. Day #2. Someone shoot me please? Or at least come give me a replacement head k? Just til it's gone!?!?!

Yeah ok. Not.

However, it's a dream of mine.

I'm out tonight. I need to get out and have a bit of fun, apparently there's some US marines showing to the bar my friend's band is playing at tonight, I'm going to take photographs. I'm going to have some fun with the marines. Why not I say?

And on I go!

THE omelette!

Ok so here it is. Seriously, this was amazing...completely and utterly amazing! And I had it cold for lunch today, again with fresh sliced tomatoes and pepper (no salt, my blood pressure you know!)...ooooo I was a happy girl, this was a terrific recipe!

So, for Technodoll and anyone else that is interested....here it goes, verbatim from the chef Rick Stein (he can be seen on BBC Canada):

Baked Greek omelette with wild greens, herbs, leeks and feta

Serves 6

Prep time approx 1/2 hour - cooking time approx 45 mins

We don't have the same wild greens as they do in Corfu, so use brassicas such as curly kale, cavalo nero, or watercress or rocket, as well as as chard, and spinach or sorrel. You can also slip in the odd dandelion leaf and some wild garlic.

Ingredients
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
250g/8¾oz leeks, trimmed, cleaned and thinly sliced
250g/8¾oz mixed leaves (for example, curly kale, watercress, spinach or sorrel, see above), washed, dried and shredded
8 large free-range eggs, lightly beaten
3 tbsp chopped mint
3 tbsp chopped dill
175g/6¼oz Greek feta cheese, crumbled
25g/1oz grated Greek kefalotiri cheese or parmesan cheese
salt and freshly ground black pepper

Method
1. Preheat the oven to 160C/320F/Gas 3.
2. Heat two tablespoons of the olive oil in a deep frying pan over a medium heat. Add the leeks and cook gently for ten minutes until soft.
3. Add the remaining oil and the mixed leaves to the pan and cook for 3-4 minutes until they have wilted down and are just tender.
4. Tip the greens into a bowl and add the eggs, mint, dill, crumbled feta, grated kefalotiri or parmesan cheese, ½ teaspoon salt and some freshly ground black pepper.
5. Oil a shallow, round, 20cm/8in non-stick cake tin, pour in the mixture and bake for about 45 minutes or until just set.
6. Serve the chunky omelette with a simple tomato and onion salad and some bread.

** I used spinach and watercress as greens and parmesan instead of the kefalotiri cheese, also cheated on the leeks as Maxi had none, used green onions instead - all onions/leeks etc come from the lily family anyway...didn't taste much different I'm sure!


And to answer Technodoll's other question...concerning breakfast places. I'm not sure what end of town you live in! I live out on the West Island but go downtown regularly for Sunday brunch with a brunch group I belong to, so I've been to a bunch down there also....I have a few I can definitely send your direction depending on where you are!

would it be ok to think it MIGHT be getting better?

Woot me.

I fought for my current job and won. We've made a few changes. But I don't have to take over the job I don't want. A big weight off my mind.

And, I'm pretty certain that I am going to be able to find something else pretty quickly if I decide that's what I want to do.

Phew!

I might have mentioned before that I LOVE cooking. Love it. I am good at it, and I adore doing it, to the point where I thought of becoming a chef when I was laid off about 15 years ago, but reconsidered because of the hours (I get migraines and shift work doesn't work for me unfortunately, messes with my sleep patterns and that is a major migraine trigger for me). I was watching something half asleep yesterday on BBC Canada and it stuck in my mind, so I cooked it tonight, omelette you cook in the oven, greens, dill, mint, parmesan cheese, and feta cheese (most important!). Wow. Made it for dinner tonight and it was completely amazing. A few sliced tomatoes...oh it was so good. It think it's going to be doubly good cold tomorrow for lunch! Anyone wants the recipe leave me a comment and I'll point you in the right direction!

There was this gorgeous salmon tartare also....oh my I love food!

So I'm feeling a bit better now. Except for the lack of man thing, but there's not much I can do about that, I'm not a dating machine. In fact, for the most part I don't bother. They'll have to put up with me single again in Sunday (mom's birthday dinner). Too damned bad.

Anyway. Things are feeling on the up and that makes me nicely pleased.

I actually spent a great deal of my weekend cooking. I like to make some batches and

Not of this world

Ok so no one told me how much this year was going to suck.

Could I have had a warning? What I would have done with that warning I can't tell...no clue, however, it would have been really nice to not be quite so nailed with crap this year.

1- The hockey hottie's disappearance.
2- Death of my sweet doggie.
3- Break of the tail bone.
4- Confirmation that the hockey hottie committed the worst acts in my opinion...lying....alot of lying.
5- Problems with the new job I love and being forced to do work that I am not interested in, ergo having to change jobs now.
6- Sister in law's death

Tabernac it's only May. In fact, only a few days in.

So obviously, due to this death my mood hasn't been fantastic, I sort of vascilate between tears and being ok.

But you want to know the kicker today?

Now remember. I am one of those "I'd rather be alone than be unhappy with someone" people. I am. Truly. If I'm not interested in a guy, I'm not going to play with him to make myself feel better, and easily 9.5 out of 10 men don't interest me at all (yes, that means that maybe half a man interests me!).

So it's Mother's Day next Sunday, and the day after is my mother's birthday, 60th. She doesn't want a party. According to my dad's email she just wants to do dinner with her kids, their spouses and boyfriends, and grandkids.

Yeah. Ok.

No problem.

Maybe I can rent someone?

Now how much did this email bother me? Well. I'm sitting here in tears again. In my defence, due to the week it's been, my emotions are raw. But this was enough to send me over the edge.

And makes me want to stay home.

Me. Alone. Again.

It's 2 pm. I think I'm going to bed again.

I am not meant for this world. It wasn't ready for me. I'm convinced of that.

things I'd like to say

Whisper
(written & performed by Melissa McClelland)

Six A.M., the night is breathing down my back
The radio, softly singing static
The sky's a circus of dark clouds hanging over me

The ground will open up and swallow what is left
And there is a calm beneath the storm that's brewing in my chest

I whisper the things I'll never say
I whisper and let the pieces fall away

The mourners pass me with sorry smiles hanging from their faces
And flowers line the window sill torturing my senses

I'll hold my breath until the petals fall away
And the earth has frozen over all the things I'll never say

I whisper the things I'll never say
I whisper and let the pieces fall away

The quiet finds its way beneath the bedroom door
And marks each space between the footstep and the floor
The house is shaded like it sees the future written on me

I whisper the things I'll never say
I whisper and let the pieces fall away

I whisper the things I'll never say
I whisper and let the pieces fall away

funeral fun

First Jewish funeral I've ever been to. No, my ex wasn't Jewish, like myself, he's pretty much anti-religion. His sister converted before she married.

I don't think there is anything sadder than the funeral for a young person. It was frankly heartbreaking. Her husband. Wow. Anyone that says he would live the past 4 years of her illness again because there were good times in there is a saint. And why aren't there more men like that? When I consider her family tried to break them up way back when (not my ex...they tried to do that to us as well and he put them in their place as did his sister). He was a true man and took care of both her and their son while she was ill. Quite amazing, considering how soft a man he is.

He fell apart up there on the (ok I'm not Jewish, bear with me here I only know the christian equivalent) altar. Speaking of how she was the most wonderful woman and his best friend. Her siblings including my ex got up there and spoke. I think in the 20 years I've known him it was the first time (except for when his cat died) I've ever seen him cry.

Drove the ex around to the burial and then back to his car. Had a chat with him. Think he was relieved to not be with his immediate family. He wishes it was him and not her, less collateral damage he said. He's probably right. No kids to leave with only one parent.

But man. That service was full. It's a big place, and the place was loaded with people. Amazing. People from work (she hadn't been there for 5 years, hadn't returned from maternity leave before she was diagnosed), friends, family, her doctors.

She was such a positive person. I heard a friend behind me say she talked to her a few days before she died. She couldn't walk 3 steps without being completely exhausted. Her friend asked her how she was and her response was "the best I've felt in a long time!". She was always fine.

We all affect everyone around us. I think that, if there is something good to take from someone young dying, that is what I take with me. What I learn from her.

You know, she had been given 6 months from the day she was diagnosed. And she lasted 4 years, from sheer will to live, try every treatment there was on the off chance it cured her, and see her child grow.

That's strength.