Ok so no one told me how much this year was going to suck.
Could I have had a warning? What I would have done with that warning I can't tell...no clue, however, it would have been really nice to not be quite so nailed with crap this year.
1- The hockey hottie's disappearance.
2- Death of my sweet doggie.
3- Break of the tail bone.
4- Confirmation that the hockey hottie committed the worst acts in my opinion...lying....alot of lying.
5- Problems with the new job I love and being forced to do work that I am not interested in, ergo having to change jobs now.
6- Sister in law's death
Tabernac it's only May. In fact, only a few days in.
So obviously, due to this death my mood hasn't been fantastic, I sort of vascilate between tears and being ok.
But you want to know the kicker today?
Now remember. I am one of those "I'd rather be alone than be unhappy with someone" people. I am. Truly. If I'm not interested in a guy, I'm not going to play with him to make myself feel better, and easily 9.5 out of 10 men don't interest me at all (yes, that means that maybe half a man interests me!).
So it's Mother's Day next Sunday, and the day after is my mother's birthday, 60th. She doesn't want a party. According to my dad's email she just wants to do dinner with her kids, their spouses and boyfriends, and grandkids.
Yeah. Ok.
No problem.
Maybe I can rent someone?
Now how much did this email bother me? Well. I'm sitting here in tears again. In my defence, due to the week it's been, my emotions are raw. But this was enough to send me over the edge.
And makes me want to stay home.
Me. Alone. Again.
It's 2 pm. I think I'm going to bed again.
I am not meant for this world. It wasn't ready for me. I'm convinced of that.
4 comments:
Ouch. That sucks. Sometimes going back to bed helps. Just make sure you have great sheets!
Bein non... that was the shitty weekend weather speaking, right?
Crisse what a year you've had until now - at least the snow is gone, eh?
I'm 38 and had just decided to be alone rather than ever settle again (stupid! stupid!) and then bam, "the one" came along... but if he hadn't? Pfff. I would so be single and loving it.
Most of my girlfriends are single and lamenting the fact though. I guess it's true that men are like good parking spots, they're either taken or handicapped!!
Oh man...the weather was no help, but last week was my sister in law's funeral, she was so young, so in my defense, I was very screwed up when I wrote that.
As for men....I'm just not every man's cup of tea. I know it, it's a fact, I'm tall for a woman, I'm bigger...lost 50 lbs since October and working on it further (actually lost another 10 in the past week and a bit), but I need a man that likes a Fat Bottomed Girl (thank you Queen).
And then there's me. I just connect with them so rarely. I have a big deal job, it tends to be intimidating, I don't intend at 39 to have kids, and I own a house, etc etc etc...and I like a brainy man, only they can keep up with me (ok I digressed with the hockey player maybe? - I'm weak, I'm Canadian, I love hockey, and he was HOT!).
If I'm single forever so be it, I actually enjoy being single. But sometimes.....
So you're an amazon! :-D
Funny, tho. Stop looking and then watch "the man" walk into your life... Murphy loves screwing with us humans.
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