they bring me up, then they bring me down

Ok so my entire computer didn't arrive...it was just my case and my external drive...dammitall. Apparently my requests in terms of specifics for my computer (I'm doing photo editing on it) are a bit more complicated then they are used to (as in I know what I'm looking for) so Dell is delayed. They say first week of August, I am thinking probably closer to next week (they said delivery date of 28 July for the cases etc, I'm just assuming).

Didn't know it would take so long, but this is what I get for being picky.

So I started backing everything up last night. I'm keeping my stand alone in my office, but this means I can get rid of the desk in my living room, put a chair I've wanted to put in there and set it up all nice. On the quest to set up the house nicely.

Had a chat with my ex husband, who I refer to as this but isn't legally so yet. We've done everything required...except the actual divorce. He needs to get his birth certificate. One would think this is a simple request, but he's too damned lazy to do it. We've been separated for 8 years. Sigh. Anyway, he agreed to get the stupid thing, it's for his protection as well as mine, even though separated, we can still be held legally responsible for each other as well as each other's debts.

I'm never getting married again.

Anyway, I'm doing the paperwork with help from a friend of mine who has done it before, and we'll be done in 30 days seeing as it's completely uncontested. It'll cost me $270 or so to put the papers in. Sigh.

But that's good. Finally. He has his life, I have mine, it's been that way a long time. As a matter of fact we've been separated as long as we were together. Sad.

No internet still.

Sigh.

But I expected that. By 5 pm today. I was excited about the computer...but it's not coming in yet, so no need right? Ok it would be nice to be able to upload some of my photos that need uploading etc, but I guess I should just get myself prepared for the upcoming arrival by getting a mouse and a router.

Yay!

I'm extremely irritated with a friend right now. M. is one of those girls that can't be alone, like, ever. Has in past had a tendency to try to find love through dating many, and sleeping with alot, quickly, in hopes someone would stick (not her words, those are mine, I don't think she totally realizes she's done it). In her words, she's better in a pair (meaning she can't manage life on her own, again that's my take on the situation). Bad divorce, ass hat ex that doesn't do what he's supposed to moneywise, has no money, decent job but hates it, 2 kids that are older. Just split up in May with a guy she dated for 8 months and up to last week was still sad and devasted by it. Definitely not ready to get out there again because she'll just cause collateral damage probably.

Now, my take on Not So Nice Guy is that he, like a great deal of online dating guys, is out there looking for something longterm, but when presented with someone that is actually interested, has no idea what to do and runs, meaning he's probably not ready to be dating, not dating material at the moment, in my estimation maybe shouldn't be? I mean I am not imagining the interest..but the minute he realized he wasn't the only interested party he booked.

So I kinda called him on it, nicely. He didn't respond, which is fine, I don't much care.

Friend M. gave me the heights of shit. Asking me why I did it out of anger (it wasn't anger, it was frustration about the charade he's putting on). Well my take on it is that I would like someone to say something if they think I'm doing something wrong out there....seriously, I'm considering talking to Date #1 seeing as there was nothing between us and asking him from his take how I was as a date (he already told me but maybe he was just being nice? - I was great, he had fun, but I look so much like a relative he can't handle it and therefore there was no nada for him, which like I said, is cool because I felt pretty much the same).

Anyhoo. Knowing what mental state I'm in, she feels the need to shove in my face that she's going on a date last night and won't be home at all.

Yeah.

So not only are there damaged dating men, there are damaged dating women out there, and I think I'm removing online profiles all of 'em (ok all 2) when I get my goddamned internet back.

Seriously. Not only is it the most impersonal way to meet a person (grocery store outlook, if the person doesn't have all the characteristics you're looking for then *kaboom* they're off the list). I know for myself, that if I meet someone in person and there are things I like about them, I am much more open to disregarding the less important bits that I require from a man (like the fact that I'd prefer a guy with no kids, but if I like him enough I can overlook that as long as his ex won't want to kill me down the line - the ex truthfully concerns me more than the kids).

So I'm thinking, being that I'm such an out there person, I am going to disregard societal pressure and forget the online thing. It may limit the people I meet (I meet mostly musicians, and generally I don't date those), but I don't care. I think I come off better in person then I do on a computer profile, the minute the men see I'm overweight they're gone like a shot (and I've got maybe 40 lbs to lose now...fuck off fer kerist's sake, like your chubb isn't apparent to the naked eye?)

Anyway got off the subject. M. I have to take a break from her. When she thinks she may end up in a relationship she gets preachy with me. I left my breakfast with another girlfriend the day he split up with her she was that upset, I've listened to her cry, I've hugged her while she bawled (that's big, I'm not a huggy person), I've consoled her for months.

And I get smug, self satisfied "I have a date, so I won't be home tonight at all".

Fuck off.

Sigh.

And I'll get to console you when this one doesn't work out in 6 months? Oh YAY me.

Geez.

I love her to bits. But when it comes to men, we have such a differing philosophy. She gives it up to anyone that smiles her way, I give it up to no one, and I'm picky about men in general.

And she's the kind of girl that runs when a man calls. Even if she's out with you at the time. Personal pet peeve. I don't do that, the guy may join me and whoever I'm out with, but no way am I dropping my original plans. Ain't happening and I loathe women that do that.

And I'm officially rambling now and really should work, I have so damned much to do.

Have a lovely day all. I think? Oh man, it's nasty and grey out there.

Oh I have an old office crush by the way, I saw him again yesterday, on one of the other floors (another company), I keep trying to run into him in the elevator or the coffee shop, cute, geeky, and tall and no wedding ring (not that this means a thing here in Quebec). Sigh. How do you approach people? I have no idea, we just chat and smile and go on our merry way. I am told I seem unapproachable and disinterested. Hrm

Ok I'm off.