I don't see the point to this blog anymore. I no longer come on here and write anything and if I do it's only to vent and whine.
And recently anyway, I'm so disjointed nothing will make an ounce of sense anyway.
Why bother?
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
long overdue ramblings
Well hello world. I've neglected this poor blog, and probably, truthfully, I shouldn't.
Instead of blogging, I've been overburdening an internety/bloggy/facebooky friend, who really, has more than enough of her own issues to deal with. Thing is, I think perhaps because we are equally overthinkey...she manages to make sense to me. Unusual. And she's really good on analyzing the men. Excellent. For which I thank her profusely. Because I am SO not!
It's a busy world out there. I'm working a lot. I'm internet meeting men, but that's not going so fantastically, I don't think. I don't know. I met one in person yesterday, but he's now got a friend visiting from out of town, so I won't hear from him as much for the next couple days, so I'm not sure how that went. Well on his end.
Oh yeah, note that I'm a bit drunk. I'm helping a friend of mine with some empty wine bottles for some vino he's making. Um. Yeah. Helping as in drinking them til they're empty.
My house is a mess, I need a cleaning lady, I need a maid, I need someone to keep me organized. I am useless.
Work makes me wonder if I'm even remotely capable...I live in wonderment that I am actually in this job and that I'm trusted to do it. I'm amazed.
Photography has slowed incredibly. I've had no time. I'm exhausted.
And well. That's it pretty much. There's alot going on in my head, my self esteem is still taking a hit here and there, sadly related to men, and I'm trying to correct that. I know fully well that I don't need a man in my life, but dammit, I really do want one. My lonelies are hard to deal with.
Oh life. How it plays with me.
Instead of blogging, I've been overburdening an internety/bloggy/facebooky friend, who really, has more than enough of her own issues to deal with. Thing is, I think perhaps because we are equally overthinkey...she manages to make sense to me. Unusual. And she's really good on analyzing the men. Excellent. For which I thank her profusely. Because I am SO not!
It's a busy world out there. I'm working a lot. I'm internet meeting men, but that's not going so fantastically, I don't think. I don't know. I met one in person yesterday, but he's now got a friend visiting from out of town, so I won't hear from him as much for the next couple days, so I'm not sure how that went. Well on his end.
Oh yeah, note that I'm a bit drunk. I'm helping a friend of mine with some empty wine bottles for some vino he's making. Um. Yeah. Helping as in drinking them til they're empty.
My house is a mess, I need a cleaning lady, I need a maid, I need someone to keep me organized. I am useless.
Work makes me wonder if I'm even remotely capable...I live in wonderment that I am actually in this job and that I'm trusted to do it. I'm amazed.
Photography has slowed incredibly. I've had no time. I'm exhausted.
And well. That's it pretty much. There's alot going on in my head, my self esteem is still taking a hit here and there, sadly related to men, and I'm trying to correct that. I know fully well that I don't need a man in my life, but dammit, I really do want one. My lonelies are hard to deal with.
Oh life. How it plays with me.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
welcome to the complaint department.
Well this is another blog submission in which I complain. Which, face it, has to be why you keep coming back because god knows I'm so fucking good at it.
And swearing. I excel at swearing :D
So today I decided it was the day that I was going to ask a dude to go out with me and he said no. It's a thing I was given for work, to a sports event, I have absolutely no courage in the men regard and was all prepared, then forgot, then had to do it via text, then got shot down.
Am I blind? Am I unable to tell if someone is flirting with me? Am I just the fat girl no one wants?
Well no one that I would want wants me, this I now for absolute certain!
For all the "you're greats" and "you're fabulous" comment, and all the "you're single?" comments, the fact remains that indeed I am.
And I'm now officially tired of it.
so this experience has slapped me down rather nicely and I will certainly never do that again, this I can tell you for free.
And swearing. I excel at swearing :D
So today I decided it was the day that I was going to ask a dude to go out with me and he said no. It's a thing I was given for work, to a sports event, I have absolutely no courage in the men regard and was all prepared, then forgot, then had to do it via text, then got shot down.
Am I blind? Am I unable to tell if someone is flirting with me? Am I just the fat girl no one wants?
Well no one that I would want wants me, this I now for absolute certain!
For all the "you're greats" and "you're fabulous" comment, and all the "you're single?" comments, the fact remains that indeed I am.
And I'm now officially tired of it.
so this experience has slapped me down rather nicely and I will certainly never do that again, this I can tell you for free.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
feelin' the heat
So we're roasting here. Hello Montreal. No middle ground, just freezing your ass off in winter & drowning in snow, or dying in heat & humidity (it was the equivalent to 104F yesterday here with 70% humidity in case you Yanks don't get the 40C sitch). I think that rivals the weather in bloody Vietnam or something. Just gross.
It's festival season, I do not like shooting music festivals, so I have 3 band/singer songwriter interviews lined up for the next week. Fun fun.
The below post was premature. I can't go into anything really, because truthfully, I never want him to find this & be embarrassed by it. So really, all I can say is, I enjoy him, he enjoys me, nothing other than getting to know each other is happening (not that we wouldn't want more to happen but for certain reasons that's not possible) and I am waiting very impatiently. But I am thinking it just might be worth it :) which would be really nice.
We're hanging tomorrow night. Going to take some pictures. Should be good. We always enjoy time spent together.
Work is somewhat akin to insanity currently, I have more work then I know how to deal with, I don't think I can realistically stay at work as long as I should need to in order to accomplish everything I have to do, but I still like it, so a;ll of that is moot. One day at a time.
Essentially one day at a time is my mantra. For work, for him, for life.
It's festival season, I do not like shooting music festivals, so I have 3 band/singer songwriter interviews lined up for the next week. Fun fun.
The below post was premature. I can't go into anything really, because truthfully, I never want him to find this & be embarrassed by it. So really, all I can say is, I enjoy him, he enjoys me, nothing other than getting to know each other is happening (not that we wouldn't want more to happen but for certain reasons that's not possible) and I am waiting very impatiently. But I am thinking it just might be worth it :) which would be really nice.
We're hanging tomorrow night. Going to take some pictures. Should be good. We always enjoy time spent together.
Work is somewhat akin to insanity currently, I have more work then I know how to deal with, I don't think I can realistically stay at work as long as I should need to in order to accomplish everything I have to do, but I still like it, so a;ll of that is moot. One day at a time.
Essentially one day at a time is my mantra. For work, for him, for life.
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