blah....just...blah

That basically sums me up right now. I have no desire to write, because, if it wasn't for my pets, I'd have nothing to write about.

That's my life. Oh so exciting.

Although I don't agree with the day, Valentine's #8 alone is looming (yep, in a row, not in my lifetime - I don't have enough fingers & toes to count those), the day that all those around me get flowers from significant others and I sit here feeling like a loser (for the 8th year in a row). Shouldn't make me feel bad, and up until year #8, it didn't, but this is pretty much stupid.

Big deal birthday looming also. I wasn't supposed to be at this point at 40. I certainly wasn't supposed to be alone at 40. I don't want to be alone at 40. Don't have much choice in that matter though.

I'm playing on the 28th, and I know, just know, friends are going to make a big deal of my birthday that night. And I don't want them to. I want it to pass like it never happened.

I don't care about 40. The age doesn't bother me. I think what bothers me is that I just didn't expect anything that's happened in the past 10 years, or hasn't happened, and I'm a bit thrown for a loop.

Oh well. Nothing one can do to stop the passage of time, I'm thankful I look good for my age and behave like I'm 12. That definitely makes me me.

Been practising alot. I want to make a big splash. I know why I want to make that big splash, but I'll keep that to myself. It's stupid.

It's silly to lust after someone that's with someone else, right? Well, I don't lust, I just wonder at the stupidity of it all, for reasons I've explained previously....men amaze me in their ridiculousness sometimes, choices made etc.

Sigh.

I'm depressing myself I think.

Weekend full of fun stuff, hopefully a concert to photograph on Thursday, it'll start to pick up again my fun...I hope.

Worrying about money alot recently (so of course I'm meeting a friend for sushi tonight...duhhhh), but getting it slowly under control, thank god. What is helping is the extra income from singing, and I'm getting rid of things around the house that I just don't need. Seriously. Do I need all that crystal from when I got married that I've NEVER used? Nope. But I do need the space it's taking up. All in a bid to sell crap I don't need, and find storage space for what I do need/want and clean my pigsty the fuck up.

But it's hard and cheap people irritate the hell out of me. No. I'm not taking it downtown to you because you don't know how to get to the suburb I live in. Do I look like a delivery service? Especially if I'm not guaranteed of a sale. One guy I did, but he wanted it, didn't try to talk me down in price, and I was downtown to go to the SPCA anyway (alright close to it), and he was incredibly polite, so no big deal. He just wanted my old camera...period...the transaction took all of 3 seconds.

Bunny love...I'm seriously in love with her, I renamed her Molly, and she's adorable and has quite the little character that I adore. Brandy the baby hammie took food from my hand twice recently and doesn't run when she hears my voice, so there's progress....the dogs have quit peeing on the floor as much (as much, which frankly doesn't mean they've stopped completely which I wish they would). Cat is healthy again (phew), eating again...phew.

Anyway. I'm bleh. And I don't have much to talk about. And that's it.