gulp

Ok it's bad when I don't have enough time to sit and blog. I'm sitting at the 'puter working or preparing for my concert. Saturday.

Ack.

Jam Flirt won't be there, he's working that night, but hopefully at the next one (I told him he's forgiven if he shows to the second one tee hee, yes, my attempt at flirting!). Bummer.

Sigh. Work. So much of it, management in such a freaking panic. CEOs don't take kindly to being told to relax.

It's so bitterly cold out now too. I can't take it anymore, I'd appreciate that it go the hell away.

Bunners is good. I love my rabbit. She's adorable. And loves me. And loves to wake me up, either by making a mess in her cage (she rips all the newspaper to shreds) or by waking me up by running over my head.

Who needs an alarm clock?

Hammie wheels are turning, my turtles want food, and the dogs are asleep. Cat loves rabbit.

And I need to run thru my tunes and go to bed.

So as I've just bored the shite out of you all, I'm off...

enough of this boredom!

well how dee doo

Me = busy

you = annoyed that I never write on this thing currently

me = worried about getting a pay cut

you = pissed off at me because I have a job I enjoy, what's 5% less money? (a big deal)

me = stressed out

Work. The stress is mounting, people are walking around like zombies, all worried they'll lose their jobs. I'm not worried about losing my job, I think for the most part it's pretty secure, but my compatriots in the US got a 5% pay cut and I wonder if that's coming. Our CEO was/is in Memphis this week, I don't know what's coming. They can take their contribution to my RRSP, but not my salary, I need that, I'm barely surviving right now as it is (house crap that ate my savings).

It's jam night and I'm going to sing and flirt. Fuck everything else.

I'm getting nervous. JUST got my voice back from this past cold, and I'm playing not this weekend but the one afterwards. Stress. Videotron that didn't credit me like the should have goddamned sent me to collections, who I already told to talk to Videotron (a $500 bill that I owe approx $50 of, um no, until it's fixed, I'm paying fuck all). But they keep calling and calling and calling.....they want the money, and don't care that I don't actually owe it. I have to call goddamned Videotron AGAIN. Is there one Canadian service I don't hate?

And it's tax time. As in the time of year that I owe boatloads of money because I don't have enough to pack away into an RRSP and I don't have any deductions being a childless single woman.

Yey.

So I'm going singing. Fuckitall.

yeah I don't think so

Is it some special day? Nope not in my view.

If Valentines is the only time you can be nice, romantic (bleh) or whatever with or to your significant other, your relationship is in severe trouble. Nuff said.

Off downtown to a mexican restaurant for a group meetup brunch, I can't wait, it's been a long time since I've had real mexican, so looking forward to it. I know one or two people from this group, but it's my way to meet new people I wouldn't normally (people from my end of Montreal island generally don't encounter people from the other end of the island....it's a bit bizarre, I know...

So I'm getting ready, and then off to Tims to start because if I don't get a coffee in me I'm screwed and then off to brunch.

Have a lovely weekend all.

is this thing on?

Ok. I know. I am remiss to come up with really good excuses for not writing except to say that....

I'm GODDAMNED SICK AGAIN!

Geezus. My sister (the nurse) figures the cold lay dormant waiting to strike again, and that it has. I feel almost as bad as I did last time, except I don't have 11 days to sleep it away, I have to keep on keeping on, so I sit at work currently, feeling like complete and utter garbage with sand in my eyes and something residing in my throat. Also can't stop sneezing. That's always enjoyable considering there's nothing I hate more than sneezing.

Please, prayer group for my voice, I'm singing in public in just over 2 weeks, I need that voice, badly.

In other news, I have a date on Friday night. I won't go into everything, but Jam Flirt hasn't been dating the leggy blonde for a while I have found out and I was volunteered to be his date for a party Friday night. No problem :) I'm taking it all easy, but will also see him Saturday night. And tonight if I can manage, news at 6 on that one. Not sure if I can or not. Depends on how much sleep I get this afternoon, after my meeting.

Saw him all 3 nights this weekend, during which I heard from a friend that he and the leggy blonde had been dating, but are now not, which explains all the undue attention I've been getting from him recently. And email.

So. Patience (I have none, sound familiar TD?) and something somewhere will work out or happen or something. Or not. Who knows?

In pet news, the dogs continue to drive each other crazy. No one has beat up on anyone, but I'm getting to the point where no one will be allowed to sit beside me on the couch, it's just becoming a fight between who can and who is closest. Ridiculous.

Hammies = good, cat = good, turtles = good (although it's time to clean out the tank, which they and I hate doing, but the algae is outta control), bunny = excellent. She's taken to sleeping on my bed, knows how to get up on it, and springs around on top of me, snurfles my head, chews on my hair, and sleeps on my side. Cute little thing.

So back to work I go. All these sales things, spreading my germs all over Montreal and the environs. Ick.

dammitall

I'm getting sick again. I sing in public in 3 weeks, it took over a month to get my voice back last time, I don't need this.

Started photographing again, lovely Irish man name of Colin Devlin the other day, was very enjoyable music, lovely voice, and an attractive man.

I'm so tired. Think I'm going to spend the day in recovering from being exhausted...might run to the corner store for some bacon so I can have an egg sarnie...my favorite thing to eat for breakfast on the weekend, don't ask me why I can't tell you.

Bought my bunny a carpet, and now she roars through my bedroom kicking up her heels like she's happy or something. I was slightly hanging off the side of my bed this morning and felt a little face on mine...and it was her checking me out...so cute, so full of personality, I don't regret the choice in bringing her home. She's sweet and lovely.

Photos to come eventually ... dontcha worry Technodoll! I'm just concerned she's not ok with the household, don't want to scare her too much!

Love life update. I have none. Not much more needs to be said on that front. I did get to spend the evening with Jam Flirt last night. And his girlfriend. I like her friend, alot she's fun, but the girlfriend looks at me weird and I get a strange vibe off her. MY friend S is doing reconnaisance for me. She has come to a few conclusions that mirror my own, so time will tell in the end. Or I'll meet someone else. Yeah ok. Sure. I'm such a catch, the men are lined up for freakin miles.

Yeah still feeling negative. Can you tell? Although no one would know it.

And the dogs are attacking each other. The techniques from the psychologist aren't working. And he's all of a sudden skinny again, I have to fatten him up. Cooking for him has made him lose weight, I think I need to mix in some puppy food, and add a few things to what I'm making. Sigh. It never ends. Ever.

Or maybe I'll just go back to bed. Yeah that sounds good.

blah....just...blah

That basically sums me up right now. I have no desire to write, because, if it wasn't for my pets, I'd have nothing to write about.

That's my life. Oh so exciting.

Although I don't agree with the day, Valentine's #8 alone is looming (yep, in a row, not in my lifetime - I don't have enough fingers & toes to count those), the day that all those around me get flowers from significant others and I sit here feeling like a loser (for the 8th year in a row). Shouldn't make me feel bad, and up until year #8, it didn't, but this is pretty much stupid.

Big deal birthday looming also. I wasn't supposed to be at this point at 40. I certainly wasn't supposed to be alone at 40. I don't want to be alone at 40. Don't have much choice in that matter though.

I'm playing on the 28th, and I know, just know, friends are going to make a big deal of my birthday that night. And I don't want them to. I want it to pass like it never happened.

I don't care about 40. The age doesn't bother me. I think what bothers me is that I just didn't expect anything that's happened in the past 10 years, or hasn't happened, and I'm a bit thrown for a loop.

Oh well. Nothing one can do to stop the passage of time, I'm thankful I look good for my age and behave like I'm 12. That definitely makes me me.

Been practising alot. I want to make a big splash. I know why I want to make that big splash, but I'll keep that to myself. It's stupid.

It's silly to lust after someone that's with someone else, right? Well, I don't lust, I just wonder at the stupidity of it all, for reasons I've explained previously....men amaze me in their ridiculousness sometimes, choices made etc.

Sigh.

I'm depressing myself I think.

Weekend full of fun stuff, hopefully a concert to photograph on Thursday, it'll start to pick up again my fun...I hope.

Worrying about money alot recently (so of course I'm meeting a friend for sushi tonight...duhhhh), but getting it slowly under control, thank god. What is helping is the extra income from singing, and I'm getting rid of things around the house that I just don't need. Seriously. Do I need all that crystal from when I got married that I've NEVER used? Nope. But I do need the space it's taking up. All in a bid to sell crap I don't need, and find storage space for what I do need/want and clean my pigsty the fuck up.

But it's hard and cheap people irritate the hell out of me. No. I'm not taking it downtown to you because you don't know how to get to the suburb I live in. Do I look like a delivery service? Especially if I'm not guaranteed of a sale. One guy I did, but he wanted it, didn't try to talk me down in price, and I was downtown to go to the SPCA anyway (alright close to it), and he was incredibly polite, so no big deal. He just wanted my old camera...period...the transaction took all of 3 seconds.

Bunny love...I'm seriously in love with her, I renamed her Molly, and she's adorable and has quite the little character that I adore. Brandy the baby hammie took food from my hand twice recently and doesn't run when she hears my voice, so there's progress....the dogs have quit peeing on the floor as much (as much, which frankly doesn't mean they've stopped completely which I wish they would). Cat is healthy again (phew), eating again...phew.

Anyway. I'm bleh. And I don't have much to talk about. And that's it.