yep

I'm about to whine again. So if that's not what you want to read at this point, you can bail out now.

Still have this estied migraine. Going to try a friend's trick, Tylenol 1 Extra Strength with codeine's and a Red Bull. Wish me luck. If nothing else my house should be clean by the end of the evening due to my energy level.

Actually, like coffee, Red Bulls do nothing for me, in fact, I personally think that they taste like aircraft lavatory fluid, and I could go right to bed after drinking one. But hopefully the caffeine level in it will help in combo with the pills.

Another wave of severe loneliness today. I know I wrote before that the world was roaring by, time going too quickly, but by the same token, I feel like it's floating along swimmingly for everyone but myself.

Oh woe is me?

Naw not really. I guess it's just that I don't totally understnad what's going on, how I ended up in the situation I'm in.

It's not bad. I have a great job, my own home, a car, great friends, family that are far enough away that I don't want to smother them in their sleep. My dogs, my cat, my turtles, my hamsters.

And yet. I'm by myself.

I met a guy this weekend, but not with the purpose of dating, he's not available (not married or taken or anything, just a situation he's in right now) for a while yet, just a friend friend. Other than that, I'm not going to say much more about him in particular, except to say that he's a really nice guy, and we have alot in common. We'll hang out in future.

I just wonder why it is that timing, situations, terrible men (sorry, but alot of them were, and they have no excuses that would make what they did ok), has hindered this part of my life so badly.

I'm good at work. Good at getting jobs, good at working at them. And I've worked myself up to a good position.

But I just can't manage to meet someone that would like to get to know me as much as I would like to get to know them. Geezus. I couldn't get someone to sleep with me if I tried right now (well...yeah I could, but chances are those are the dudes that you couldn't even pay me to go near).

I'm in the best shape I've been in my life, I'm busy, always active, always running around doing things, seeing people, having fun. Not like I spend my life thinking I'm shit....my confidence is pretty high (with exception of me being the queen of self deprecating humor).

And yet. Of everyone I know, I'm just about the only single one left. No one has gone anywhere near as long as I have.

Sigh. Loneliness will be my undoing one day.