I won't be hearing from Facebook cutie I guess. Oh well. He's been back more than 24 hours and not a word, frankly, I'm busy all day today anyway, but, if he really wanted to see me he would have. So I'll just assume he doesn't.
Whatever, except, what else is new right?
I have no luck with this stuff.
So. I think I'll just keep doing what I'm doing today, feel a bit low while doing it, and leave it at that.
His loss.
Or so everyone tells me. However, they all don't seem to be willing to date me either.
Ha.
Happy holiday weekend?
---
EDIT - I was out all morning, and Facebook cutie has in fact been online all morning and made no attempt to contact me. Done like dinner I'd say.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
impatience redux
I need to find something to do with myself. Is it the 30th yet?
See, that's when the Facebook cutie will have returned from his visit to the mom. And hopefully (oh please universe, fingers crossed and eyes crossed and all sorts of things crossed???????)dude won't back out in chickendom.
Actually, I'm just impatiently waiting, but it's not my end all be all....I just sort of can't wait for the weekend also, Facebook cutie not withstanding.
My girlfriend from high school that lives in Philly will be here on the weekend, I can't wait, we saw each other for the first time in about 15 years last Labour Day. So we're doing it again!
And Friday night some girlfriends will be in town to see a mutual friend play at my local pub, which also happens to be her guitarist's birthday, so I'll be singing as well.
Fun fun fun!
And it's 3 days off in a row and that sounds mighty fine right about now.
Then there's the combustible meeting with Facebook cutie.
Oh? Did I already mention that?
heh
See, that's when the Facebook cutie will have returned from his visit to the mom. And hopefully (oh please universe, fingers crossed and eyes crossed and all sorts of things crossed???????)dude won't back out in chickendom.
Actually, I'm just impatiently waiting, but it's not my end all be all....I just sort of can't wait for the weekend also, Facebook cutie not withstanding.
My girlfriend from high school that lives in Philly will be here on the weekend, I can't wait, we saw each other for the first time in about 15 years last Labour Day. So we're doing it again!
And Friday night some girlfriends will be in town to see a mutual friend play at my local pub, which also happens to be her guitarist's birthday, so I'll be singing as well.
Fun fun fun!
And it's 3 days off in a row and that sounds mighty fine right about now.
Then there's the combustible meeting with Facebook cutie.
Oh? Did I already mention that?
heh
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
stop my life I want to get off
Ever have the feeling like life is speeding, you're not getting what you want to accomplished, and there's no way to slow it down?
I remember clearly the day I told my ex husband I wanted us to split up. He had his back to me, sitting at the computer, his new girlfriend, and said "I'm not surprised, well, if that's what you want" while I sat and cried.
After I got over what I had done, I can remember thinking to myself "well I'm only 32, I don't want to waste my life doing nothing, living as an afterthought to an increasingly hostile man". I needed to change my career again, get a good job, I wanted to buy the house from him, and I figured that it shouldn't take too long to do it. I figured that I was young, I'd find someone else to share my life with down the line, seeing as I'm a pretty fabulous person.
Fast forward 7 years to now. I'll be 40 in 6 months. I had 7 different jobs in the past 7 years...bought the house from him 2 1/2 years ago, he moved out just over 2 years ago (after living separated in the same house for 5 years). I've formed a life for myself, and am still a pretty fabulous person, albeit still alone, not having formed any relationships with the opposite sex other than friendship and the occasional thing that went absolutely nowhere.
Man it moves fast.
Life just speeds by and you don't even notice it happening. I can recall the days when 40 was ancient, and now it's just a number I'm not really worried about. Where's it all gone?
I sort of have the feeling that now is the time that I sit back and enjoy and yet, there is so much I still want to do, so many other changes I need to be making, and I almost feel like there's no time. I'm also tired. Health issues (the injuries from the car accident from 16 years ago rearing it's ugly head as I try to get fit), and just generally wanting to take it easy, however I have a house in need of repairs, in need of purging (half my ex's stuff is still here and it's going whether he comes to get it or not), a lawn that was neglected for years even though my ex owned half (that was his job and he never did it, like, ever), and I have a million and one hobbies I want to work on.
And the days move by so quickly.
And then there's the issue of men. How I'd like one in my life at some point in time, but that just doesn't seem to be working for me. Well. I guess with prospects around, we'll see where that goes in the future.
Questions, always questions. I tend to be a bit too introspective generally, very in my head, to the point that I'll say something out loud that is a continuation of a conversation I'm having with myself, and expect everyone around me to understand (those that know me really well do, surprisingly).
Anyway. Can things slow down, just a bit please?
I remember clearly the day I told my ex husband I wanted us to split up. He had his back to me, sitting at the computer, his new girlfriend, and said "I'm not surprised, well, if that's what you want" while I sat and cried.
After I got over what I had done, I can remember thinking to myself "well I'm only 32, I don't want to waste my life doing nothing, living as an afterthought to an increasingly hostile man". I needed to change my career again, get a good job, I wanted to buy the house from him, and I figured that it shouldn't take too long to do it. I figured that I was young, I'd find someone else to share my life with down the line, seeing as I'm a pretty fabulous person.
Fast forward 7 years to now. I'll be 40 in 6 months. I had 7 different jobs in the past 7 years...bought the house from him 2 1/2 years ago, he moved out just over 2 years ago (after living separated in the same house for 5 years). I've formed a life for myself, and am still a pretty fabulous person, albeit still alone, not having formed any relationships with the opposite sex other than friendship and the occasional thing that went absolutely nowhere.
Man it moves fast.
Life just speeds by and you don't even notice it happening. I can recall the days when 40 was ancient, and now it's just a number I'm not really worried about. Where's it all gone?
I sort of have the feeling that now is the time that I sit back and enjoy and yet, there is so much I still want to do, so many other changes I need to be making, and I almost feel like there's no time. I'm also tired. Health issues (the injuries from the car accident from 16 years ago rearing it's ugly head as I try to get fit), and just generally wanting to take it easy, however I have a house in need of repairs, in need of purging (half my ex's stuff is still here and it's going whether he comes to get it or not), a lawn that was neglected for years even though my ex owned half (that was his job and he never did it, like, ever), and I have a million and one hobbies I want to work on.
And the days move by so quickly.
And then there's the issue of men. How I'd like one in my life at some point in time, but that just doesn't seem to be working for me. Well. I guess with prospects around, we'll see where that goes in the future.
Questions, always questions. I tend to be a bit too introspective generally, very in my head, to the point that I'll say something out loud that is a continuation of a conversation I'm having with myself, and expect everyone around me to understand (those that know me really well do, surprisingly).
Anyway. Can things slow down, just a bit please?
Sunday, August 24, 2008
impatience
I'm not a patient person by nature.
That's just the way I am, things never move quickly enough for me, plain and simple. Maybe it's my generation (I'm not sure which one I am considered), but when I want something I want it now.
So I'm impatiently waiting for my date with the Facebook cutie.
I want to meet him now, but he's a slow moving cancer, I've dated those before, and yikes....
Of course he's not in town so there's not much I can do is there?
I also want my new lens. Like, now. However, at $1729.00 before taxes, that isn't going to be in the next few weeks.
I want my kitchen done. Well, at $5000, it's going to be a while even if it's a small kitchen. I don't want to be completely broke down the line because I got myself into credit hell, been there done that in the past, and got myself out of it, I never want to do that again.
So I sit and save and wait patiently.
I just don't do patient.
That's just the way I am, things never move quickly enough for me, plain and simple. Maybe it's my generation (I'm not sure which one I am considered), but when I want something I want it now.
So I'm impatiently waiting for my date with the Facebook cutie.
I want to meet him now, but he's a slow moving cancer, I've dated those before, and yikes....
Of course he's not in town so there's not much I can do is there?
I also want my new lens. Like, now. However, at $1729.00 before taxes, that isn't going to be in the next few weeks.
I want my kitchen done. Well, at $5000, it's going to be a while even if it's a small kitchen. I don't want to be completely broke down the line because I got myself into credit hell, been there done that in the past, and got myself out of it, I never want to do that again.
So I sit and save and wait patiently.
I just don't do patient.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
elevator encounter
Ok so we all know I'm the female version of a hound dog currently, no man is safe right?
Well dude from upstairs was in my elevator on the way down to the coffee shop. So I struck up a conversation.
ME: (pressing button already pressed) oh yay, done already duhhhhhh, no one home today
5th floor cutie: Yeah I get you
ME: I now need food
5th floor cutie: that's where I'm going too
ME: didn't feel like left overs today
5th floor cutie: I'm opposed to leftovers
ME: as am I, but I'm the only one around to eat them
5th floor cutie: well, there's always dogs...that's what I do
What have we learned here?
1 - I have absolutely no flirting ability - like, at all
2 - 5th floor cutie is single
3 - 5th floor cutie has a dog, and for me, this is a good thing
4 - I have no idea but I like the number 4
Yeah so there we go, longest conversation that he and I have had like, ever, and well, it was fun.
Until I accused him of jumping the line in the coffee shop. Told "you snooze you lose" and not a word after.
Ah well.
He has the same name as my ex husband, I don't think that's ever a good thing, right?
I still have my little facebook cutie. And unless something changes between now and the 30th of the month, I'm pretty sure our combustible meeting will be a good thing.
One man at a time.
Like I have a choice anyway. Heh.
Well dude from upstairs was in my elevator on the way down to the coffee shop. So I struck up a conversation.
ME: (pressing button already pressed) oh yay, done already duhhhhhh, no one home today
5th floor cutie: Yeah I get you
ME: I now need food
5th floor cutie: that's where I'm going too
ME: didn't feel like left overs today
5th floor cutie: I'm opposed to leftovers
ME: as am I, but I'm the only one around to eat them
5th floor cutie: well, there's always dogs...that's what I do
What have we learned here?
1 - I have absolutely no flirting ability - like, at all
2 - 5th floor cutie is single
3 - 5th floor cutie has a dog, and for me, this is a good thing
4 - I have no idea but I like the number 4
Yeah so there we go, longest conversation that he and I have had like, ever, and well, it was fun.
Until I accused him of jumping the line in the coffee shop. Told "you snooze you lose" and not a word after.
Ah well.
He has the same name as my ex husband, I don't think that's ever a good thing, right?
I still have my little facebook cutie. And unless something changes between now and the 30th of the month, I'm pretty sure our combustible meeting will be a good thing.
One man at a time.
Like I have a choice anyway. Heh.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I can't move
Went out of mussels tonight with 4 friends. All-you-can eat mussels. In a white wine garlic sauce.
I'm gonna explode.
Don't you dare tell me it's only wafer thin (mild Monty Python reference there).
I have never been a mussel fan, but everyone was having 'em and hey, I went for it. Oh my god they were good.
As is all the seafood at this place in particular. Yummers.
I'd be happy if all I ate was fish and seafood. Supposedly there's an issue with mercury etc etc, but the way I figure it, if being alive doesn't kill me .... right?
I have photo editing en masse to do and what am I doing?
Blogging.
Oh but on the subject of the concert I photographed Sunday night, why don't I live in Burlington Vermont again? Cuz let me tell you, it's full of hot men. And we counted 17 red heads (I have a redhead thing). Oh. My. Chatted with a hot cop, sadly, married. Yummers. I like men a bit too much it seems.
Derek Trucks was amazing, his singer was not present, laryngitis, but what a terrific concert. Well worth the trip down and I got some fab photos, that I have to send samples of to his manager. God bless him for the photo pass.
Ok. I guess I need to be getting to the photos from 2 weeks ago to start with. Ya think?
I also need to kill my backyard tomorrow morning before I leave the house. With vinegar. Don't ask. Suffice to say I'm thinking of pebbling my backyard. We'll see.
I hate mowing the lawn.
Ok I'm rambling, off I go.
I'm gonna explode.
Don't you dare tell me it's only wafer thin (mild Monty Python reference there).
I have never been a mussel fan, but everyone was having 'em and hey, I went for it. Oh my god they were good.
As is all the seafood at this place in particular. Yummers.
I'd be happy if all I ate was fish and seafood. Supposedly there's an issue with mercury etc etc, but the way I figure it, if being alive doesn't kill me .... right?
I have photo editing en masse to do and what am I doing?
Blogging.
Oh but on the subject of the concert I photographed Sunday night, why don't I live in Burlington Vermont again? Cuz let me tell you, it's full of hot men. And we counted 17 red heads (I have a redhead thing). Oh. My. Chatted with a hot cop, sadly, married. Yummers. I like men a bit too much it seems.
Derek Trucks was amazing, his singer was not present, laryngitis, but what a terrific concert. Well worth the trip down and I got some fab photos, that I have to send samples of to his manager. God bless him for the photo pass.
Ok. I guess I need to be getting to the photos from 2 weeks ago to start with. Ya think?
I also need to kill my backyard tomorrow morning before I leave the house. With vinegar. Don't ask. Suffice to say I'm thinking of pebbling my backyard. We'll see.
I hate mowing the lawn.
Ok I'm rambling, off I go.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
the return of the cutie
So I told you about the little dude from Facebook that I had a bit of crush on...he wanted to meet me then backed out due to something going on in his life and I was a relationship type of girl, not the sleep-with girl.
Well. I've been pretty much ignoring him. Occasionally he's said hello on MSN, drunk tagged me on Facebook (sexy & smart no less) but that's about it.
So today.
I realize he comes from another province, same one as my father as a matter of fact, due to his screen name, so I ask him when he's going away to visit his parents etc etc etc, usual conversational crapola. Flirty, fun, wiling away a bit of my boring afternoon.
Then he says that he's been thinking and we need to meet. Don't know what's changed but apparently something has. When he comes back from his parent's. Told me when he's leaving, told me when he's coming back, and can we meet.
Well. Ok? I mean, he was very very polite to me before, said it was nothing personal, but just something he had to deal with before he could consider anything approximating a relationship.
Figure I have nothing to lose.
One problem though. TD will of course encourage me in this. The combustible nature of our interaction. I can't be certain that I'll behave myself. Sigh. Week and a half or so to steel myself into behaving.
So this is my excitement for the day. Nothing major.
I just like the guy. How/why, I have no idea, but we get along. He's short. He's chubby, and I like 'em. I'm special, what can I tell you?
PS. Ian Millar rocks. I've been a big ole fan for years and I'm extremely happy for him and his first Olympic medal at age 61. Go dude.
Ok I need to go to bed now. Later all.
Well. I've been pretty much ignoring him. Occasionally he's said hello on MSN, drunk tagged me on Facebook (sexy & smart no less) but that's about it.
So today.
I realize he comes from another province, same one as my father as a matter of fact, due to his screen name, so I ask him when he's going away to visit his parents etc etc etc, usual conversational crapola. Flirty, fun, wiling away a bit of my boring afternoon.
Then he says that he's been thinking and we need to meet. Don't know what's changed but apparently something has. When he comes back from his parent's. Told me when he's leaving, told me when he's coming back, and can we meet.
Well. Ok? I mean, he was very very polite to me before, said it was nothing personal, but just something he had to deal with before he could consider anything approximating a relationship.
Figure I have nothing to lose.
One problem though. TD will of course encourage me in this. The combustible nature of our interaction. I can't be certain that I'll behave myself. Sigh. Week and a half or so to steel myself into behaving.
So this is my excitement for the day. Nothing major.
I just like the guy. How/why, I have no idea, but we get along. He's short. He's chubby, and I like 'em. I'm special, what can I tell you?
PS. Ian Millar rocks. I've been a big ole fan for years and I'm extremely happy for him and his first Olympic medal at age 61. Go dude.
Ok I need to go to bed now. Later all.
tuesday
Moan moan moan, bitch bitch bitch.
That is all.
Nawwwww...kidding.
Three more medals. We now have more than in Athens. Is this a good thing? Probably? Dunno. Seeing as I only like watching certain things I think I pretty much have no opinion except I like seeing the Canadian flag on the podium.
I'm reading "Why Men Love Bitches". Well I have the bitch part down let me tell you. No problem there. It's sustaining the bitch.
Took this CPR course yesterday (more on that later) and there was a hottie in the class and the nastier and bitchier I got, the more he flirted.
Men? I don't get the buggers!
So yeah CPR. I've done it before, this is a refresher for me, because being medically inclined as I am (daughter of nurse, sister of nurse, granddaughter of nurse, cousin of nurse, grand niece of nurse), I remembered everything from my last class. But MAN. I really object to being touched by strangers. I am not particularly fond of touching them either. I don't like having someone's arms around me for the heimlich. Yucko. One thing if someone's dying and you need to help them, then you do what you do, but practise? Um no. Boy I'm difficult to deal with.
Perhaps this is why I'm single? Nawwww, if I like someone enough it's not an issue...can't be that.
I'm little miss "charity girl" for the next month, this weekend coming it's over to the Big O to volunteer for the Walk to End Breast Cancer (5 am people...am I insane or WHAT?)then one weekend in September the Plane Pull for Centraide/United Way and a day later the Heart & Stroke Foundation 10km walk.
Lordy. Gonna be a tired month.
And well. NOthing much of great excitement to tell.
Boring as shit.
Sorry.
That is all.
Nawwwww...kidding.
Three more medals. We now have more than in Athens. Is this a good thing? Probably? Dunno. Seeing as I only like watching certain things I think I pretty much have no opinion except I like seeing the Canadian flag on the podium.
I'm reading "Why Men Love Bitches". Well I have the bitch part down let me tell you. No problem there. It's sustaining the bitch.
Took this CPR course yesterday (more on that later) and there was a hottie in the class and the nastier and bitchier I got, the more he flirted.
Men? I don't get the buggers!
So yeah CPR. I've done it before, this is a refresher for me, because being medically inclined as I am (daughter of nurse, sister of nurse, granddaughter of nurse, cousin of nurse, grand niece of nurse), I remembered everything from my last class. But MAN. I really object to being touched by strangers. I am not particularly fond of touching them either. I don't like having someone's arms around me for the heimlich. Yucko. One thing if someone's dying and you need to help them, then you do what you do, but practise? Um no. Boy I'm difficult to deal with.
Perhaps this is why I'm single? Nawwww, if I like someone enough it's not an issue...can't be that.
I'm little miss "charity girl" for the next month, this weekend coming it's over to the Big O to volunteer for the Walk to End Breast Cancer (5 am people...am I insane or WHAT?)then one weekend in September the Plane Pull for Centraide/United Way and a day later the Heart & Stroke Foundation 10km walk.
Lordy. Gonna be a tired month.
And well. NOthing much of great excitement to tell.
Boring as shit.
Sorry.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Unday Sunday
Ok the photo is totally gratuitious, who doesn't want to see some hot men in tight clothing? Bonus is that Canada's rowing team won our second gold of the games, go them! We're up to 7 medals now. Finally!
Went to a sexy party last night, friend's 30th, we had to dress sexy, so of course, I brough out the girls. The girls were photographed about 4 times, my face? No I have none, but I have tits. Everyone liked the hot pink lace bra under the black top (usually I would wear a black bra, but I brought out my inner ho and anyway there you go).
Naturally every male at the party was attached. All these single women in one room and the guys were all taken. Oi.
Today it's down to Vermont for a concert, I'm photographing it, let's hope it doesn't rain, I really don't want to be standing outdoors in the rain, it's not my idea of fun.
Got myself a neato new camera bag. Anyway. It's a backpack and you sort of turn it and your camera is in front of you RIGHT THERE. Hard to explain.
Ok, I'm off for breakfast with a friend I haven't seen in weeks, so enjoy the day all. Pray for no rain in Burlington. Please.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
well FINALLY!
Ok. Apparently when we do it, we do it well.
Olympics day 8, 1 of each kinda medal. Two of them in women's wrestling. Go figure. We usually do well in diving, synchro, sculls (rowing).
Finally. We Canuks were starting to worry about where all our tax money had gone, we tend to fare better during the winter Olympics, however, we usually win SOMETHING by now.
Phew.
I'm not feeling so embarassed now.
Congrats to Carol Huynh our gold medal wrestler, the silver medal rowing pair of Scott Frandsen & Dave Calder, and our bronze medal wrestler Tonya Verbeek.
Well done guys.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I am a horrible person
Ok well I'm a horrible person and I'm not a horrible person.
Let me explain.
Now. I want all my friends to be happy. Really, I do.
However, here's one thing that really irks me.
How's about not rubbing a friend's face in your relationship? The ONE big thing in your friend's life that you are well fucking aware has your friend depressed, depression causing her to not leave the house and avoid seeing people? How's this for a bit of kindness?
I don't like PDA. I don't like mushiness. I don't like lovey dovey. That means both if I'm the person in the relationship or not. I don't think it's cute, I don't go awwwww, I say "get a fucking room the rest of the world does NOT need to view this".
Unless someone is close to me or involved with me, I don't like to be gratuitously touched, I loathe hugging or cheek kissing (hard in this goddamned "kiss kiss on each cheek like the french" city). I put up with it, but there's a limit.
So what makes the rest of the world think I want to watch?
Long story short, friend I met at a movie screening and a friend of a friend met via my Facebook. They live in different cities. The girl and various other female friends have a few thousand email thread going on Facebook on relationships etc. They know where my head is (it ain't pretty, really it ain't, I'm already planning the rest of my life as a single), when discussion came up of all of us getting together, the comment was made of "oh wait til you see so and so and I together, we're so cute it's sickening".
Engh yeah this is where I bail.
See. If I know a cute couple is somewhere, I bail. I don't mean a couple, couples are just fine and dandy. But lovey dovey, all over each other, tongues down throats, hands on bodies couples? Um no. I avoid them.
They think I'm kidding. Wait til the get together happens and I'm nowhere to be seen.
Even when I'm in a relationship (even though it's hard to remember that far back), hand holding, maybe a hand on a thigh, is IT. That's it, that's all. I figure, no one wants to see my PDA. I can't be the only human alive that hates that sort of thing.
Call it jealousy if you want, but I have friends who will attest to what I'm like when in a relationship and how I've bailed on things, while in said relationship because of a specific couple that will be there.
Blame it on my upbringing during which no one touched me unless I was hurt or something, during which I can remember screaming and pushing people away that tried to hug me.
I hate it. I really do.
And add to it my headspace right now? Um no. If they feel the need to shove this down my throat, I'll be doing something else that night/day. Reprimering the Jeep, washing my hair, washing the dog, whatever excuse I can come up with.
I'm not giving people the opportunity.
Am I a bad person?
Probably.
Which maybe explains why I'm single.
Let me explain.
Now. I want all my friends to be happy. Really, I do.
However, here's one thing that really irks me.
How's about not rubbing a friend's face in your relationship? The ONE big thing in your friend's life that you are well fucking aware has your friend depressed, depression causing her to not leave the house and avoid seeing people? How's this for a bit of kindness?
I don't like PDA. I don't like mushiness. I don't like lovey dovey. That means both if I'm the person in the relationship or not. I don't think it's cute, I don't go awwwww, I say "get a fucking room the rest of the world does NOT need to view this".
Unless someone is close to me or involved with me, I don't like to be gratuitously touched, I loathe hugging or cheek kissing (hard in this goddamned "kiss kiss on each cheek like the french" city). I put up with it, but there's a limit.
So what makes the rest of the world think I want to watch?
Long story short, friend I met at a movie screening and a friend of a friend met via my Facebook. They live in different cities. The girl and various other female friends have a few thousand email thread going on Facebook on relationships etc. They know where my head is (it ain't pretty, really it ain't, I'm already planning the rest of my life as a single), when discussion came up of all of us getting together, the comment was made of "oh wait til you see so and so and I together, we're so cute it's sickening".
Engh yeah this is where I bail.
See. If I know a cute couple is somewhere, I bail. I don't mean a couple, couples are just fine and dandy. But lovey dovey, all over each other, tongues down throats, hands on bodies couples? Um no. I avoid them.
They think I'm kidding. Wait til the get together happens and I'm nowhere to be seen.
Even when I'm in a relationship (even though it's hard to remember that far back), hand holding, maybe a hand on a thigh, is IT. That's it, that's all. I figure, no one wants to see my PDA. I can't be the only human alive that hates that sort of thing.
Call it jealousy if you want, but I have friends who will attest to what I'm like when in a relationship and how I've bailed on things, while in said relationship because of a specific couple that will be there.
Blame it on my upbringing during which no one touched me unless I was hurt or something, during which I can remember screaming and pushing people away that tried to hug me.
I hate it. I really do.
And add to it my headspace right now? Um no. If they feel the need to shove this down my throat, I'll be doing something else that night/day. Reprimering the Jeep, washing my hair, washing the dog, whatever excuse I can come up with.
I'm not giving people the opportunity.
Am I a bad person?
Probably.
Which maybe explains why I'm single.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I know I know
Bad bad blogger.
In my defense, I've been so tired.
I'm on a new med since Friday and tis kicking my ass. Except I can't fault that I'm actually sleeping. Amazing what our body learns to adapt to medically and then when something is diagnosed and you start taking medication for it, you realize how you felt.
See I have high blood pressure, spikey all over the place blood pressure, thank you mom and grandmother for the hereditary gifties. 65 lbs lost and a change in diet did nothing to help, so meds it is.
I have real feet and ankles for the first time in a while I hate to admit. I can't believe I didn't realize that, just thought it was fat. Nope.
Anyway. I'm a little more tired than usual, as in falling asleep on the sofa at 6:30 pm tired.
Everything is pretty much status quo. Men - nada, friends - annoyed with one and it's the usual one, photography - have a gig in Vermont on Sunday night and can't wait, work - I've organized a charity outing in Ottawa & finally got my first real client after all my hard work. Company can't complain!
All in all it's pretty much status quo.
More exciting post maybe later tonight if I don't fall asleep, I have to go find something to wear to work now that isn't too big. Yey!
In my defense, I've been so tired.
I'm on a new med since Friday and tis kicking my ass. Except I can't fault that I'm actually sleeping. Amazing what our body learns to adapt to medically and then when something is diagnosed and you start taking medication for it, you realize how you felt.
See I have high blood pressure, spikey all over the place blood pressure, thank you mom and grandmother for the hereditary gifties. 65 lbs lost and a change in diet did nothing to help, so meds it is.
I have real feet and ankles for the first time in a while I hate to admit. I can't believe I didn't realize that, just thought it was fat. Nope.
Anyway. I'm a little more tired than usual, as in falling asleep on the sofa at 6:30 pm tired.
Everything is pretty much status quo. Men - nada, friends - annoyed with one and it's the usual one, photography - have a gig in Vermont on Sunday night and can't wait, work - I've organized a charity outing in Ottawa & finally got my first real client after all my hard work. Company can't complain!
All in all it's pretty much status quo.
More exciting post maybe later tonight if I don't fall asleep, I have to go find something to wear to work now that isn't too big. Yey!
Friday, August 8, 2008
good lord
Ok, enough rain.
Seriously?
There is a torrential downpour out there.
I've had just about enough of this shit.
Seriously?
There is a torrential downpour out there.
I've had just about enough of this shit.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
early morning eye candy
So I had a breakfast informational meeting with an airline today, Air France KLM.
Sleepy, still out to lunch, I toodled into the meeting room and headed for the coffee, saying hello to a former colleague from Lufthansa, and the people from AF KLM...
Still completely out to lunch.
Went immediately to the coffee, and then proceeded to sit down.
There he was.
OMG, the most gorgeous hunk of man I've seen in a damned long time, tall, dark haired, gorgeous green eyes, smile to die for....I'm wondering who this guy is, everyone in our industry knows each other, and this guy is new, he's not any of the big bosses at any of the other forwarders I know.
I get my breakfast (spill water everywhere....I'm not good before alot of coffee and I'm having insomnia issues recently), sit down and yak to my former colleague who now works for AF KLM, about people we used to work with and how they're doing etc.
Then the speaking begins. And the gorgeous tall man is introduced, big deal operations manager for North America, based in the US somewhere (JFK?? I can't remember) and when he opens his mouth...oh my, the most gorgeous Dutch accent in a deep, from the toes voice.
Yummy.
Naturally, I realize what the ring on his right hand is....wedding band...they use the opposite side in the Netherlands...yeah I wouldn't let that one go anywhere either, smart girl whoever she is!
Yeah but early morning eye candy is quite the thing....had to brush past him to get out of the room also, smells good on top of it.
Sigh.....
Yep, day started off well.
Off to play with the office cutie I'm not allowed to play with. Equally as hot! Good lunch/day all!
Sleepy, still out to lunch, I toodled into the meeting room and headed for the coffee, saying hello to a former colleague from Lufthansa, and the people from AF KLM...
Still completely out to lunch.
Went immediately to the coffee, and then proceeded to sit down.
There he was.
OMG, the most gorgeous hunk of man I've seen in a damned long time, tall, dark haired, gorgeous green eyes, smile to die for....I'm wondering who this guy is, everyone in our industry knows each other, and this guy is new, he's not any of the big bosses at any of the other forwarders I know.
I get my breakfast (spill water everywhere....I'm not good before alot of coffee and I'm having insomnia issues recently), sit down and yak to my former colleague who now works for AF KLM, about people we used to work with and how they're doing etc.
Then the speaking begins. And the gorgeous tall man is introduced, big deal operations manager for North America, based in the US somewhere (JFK?? I can't remember) and when he opens his mouth...oh my, the most gorgeous Dutch accent in a deep, from the toes voice.
Yummy.
Naturally, I realize what the ring on his right hand is....wedding band...they use the opposite side in the Netherlands...yeah I wouldn't let that one go anywhere either, smart girl whoever she is!
Yeah but early morning eye candy is quite the thing....had to brush past him to get out of the room also, smells good on top of it.
Sigh.....
Yep, day started off well.
Off to play with the office cutie I'm not allowed to play with. Equally as hot! Good lunch/day all!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
and then the heavens parted....
I will quote the woman I met in the elevator on my way back to the office from getting my coffee in the shop downstairs - she works for the Inuit school board and I like this philosophy..."someone stole the sun".
Yeah. No kidding. What a blast it is waking up, hearing the rain on the roof of the house, and wanting nothing better than to curl back up and say "fuck you" to the day.
However, back at work today, I have a sales call to make this afternoon (yucko!) and just can't be doing it.
Got something nice yesterday. You may notice the photo. This guy plays with the Bachman Cummings band and he is a) damned cute (I have a bald man thing) b) an amazing guitarist who plays with one of my absolute favorite Canadian acts Ron Sexsmith (no it's not just his name I enjoy!). I also love his guitar (this girl loves her a Gibson hollow-body....).
Anyhoodles, I have a Myspace page dedicated to my photography and I added him as a friend and he emailed me! Himself. Awwwww......I am very flattered that he let me know what he thought about my photography! Yey!
I am admitting to a lovely girl crush on him, k? At the concert, he winked at me because everytime he looked up my camera was directed at him....he was in a very bad place on the stage to get a shot of, so I kept trying....that or the light off his head was bad, only problem with bald men and cameras...
And I usually ignore guitarists, because, as the joke goes....
question: What's a guitarist without a girlfriend?
answer: Homeless!
So true in my past musician dealings, remember I was one once, I know of what I speak!!
Going to torture Kim Mitchell this weekend actually. He's playing out in the boonies near my parents place. Girlfriend of mine wants a good shot of his bass player, let's hope he's there!
Well. Me and my odd chatty posts, sorry, I don't blog about anything in particular and everything in general and it's just what I do, I can't help it!
Is anything I say useful?
Ok back to work. Sorta. Brain elsewhere, like, back in bed cuz a gray rainy day like this deserves covers over the head snoozing.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
more of the same, Tuesday version
2 hours of interrupted sleep. You may congratulate me if I a) don't fall asleep face down on just about anything today and b) don't snap someone's head off for looking at me wrong.
This ridiculous machine, I suspect it's not working properly, I can't see my blood pressure readings. And let me tell you, I'm not putting it on again. You can't go anywhere, you can't do anything for 24 hours and mostly, you can't sleep. And when I don't sleep my blood pressure goes up.
I'm exhausted. And Little Miss Suzie Sunshine.
Yakked with 7 year younger dude last night, but he seems a bit messed up, and whatever. Told me that he's got an issue going on in his life that he can't handle a relationship and that he can't handle more than just fwb situation and "you're not that kind of girl".
No I'm not. Never am. No one ever sees me as that.
And that's why I haven't gotten any in a year and a half. Over that actually.
The photo is me. Testing the webcam from the new computer.
Innocent little 39 year old, I'dliketoriptheclothingoffaguy me.
I've come so damned far, and yet this is the one thing I can't conquer. Being alone.
Not that I totally mind it. I'm very mixed up on the subject. I have a girlfriend that states that I give off the air that I don't need anyone, well, that's mostly because I live alone and, well, I don't have anyone else to depend on, so I have to get things done myself. Towards the end of my marriage, I was the problem fixer, I dealt with the money (or lack thereof). I took all the debt on myself when we split up, paid it all off so that I knew it would be done.
Why is it a crime to be self sufficient?
I lack a vulnerability I guess. A girly thing that I'm severely missing. I keep being told that men like to be needed, and that I don't need them, so they stay away.
At least he told me what's going on. I have to respect that. But it does really make me wonder about myself sometimes.
Monday, August 4, 2008
more of the same
So I'm home today from work, I have to go have a blood pressure monitor installed to confirm my high blood pressure (thank you mother and grandmother for the hereditary issues you have passed on to me).
Didn't hear from the 7 year younger Facebook guy until today. And, true to form with any man who shows interest, he has backed out of meeting. Something to do with something in his life he has to take care of first. Let's hope it's not a girlfriend, but I definitely don't get that impression at all, and I can see his Facebook page which clearly indicates single as do all the comments from his friends. So it ain't that.
He did apologize profusely and say that I was too nice.
Which is a kiss of death to me. I am too nice. To some men. If I like 'em enough.
I can't be bothered with this anymore, it's be freaking 8 years of this shit.
Yeah. 8 years. And I think I can count on 2 hands the amount of times I've done the evil deed in that period of time. I'm wasting my sexual peak on nothing.
Yay.
I'll keep talking to him, he's involved in music and I might get a musical cooperation or photography gig thru him, so that's never bad, and I'm not mad enough to torpedo him, we didn't even meet. Unlike Not So Nice Guy, he got pretty much torpedoed. I'll remain open to him I guess. I have no idea what his problem is...so, we'll leave it at that.
You know, if I had gone looking for this, if I had persued hard, I would understand it now working out at all (cuz that's par for the course). But he did all the persuing. Lordy.
Grey and yucko out there....again....getting rather tired of that too.
Only adds to my current mood.
Didn't hear from the 7 year younger Facebook guy until today. And, true to form with any man who shows interest, he has backed out of meeting. Something to do with something in his life he has to take care of first. Let's hope it's not a girlfriend, but I definitely don't get that impression at all, and I can see his Facebook page which clearly indicates single as do all the comments from his friends. So it ain't that.
He did apologize profusely and say that I was too nice.
Which is a kiss of death to me. I am too nice. To some men. If I like 'em enough.
I can't be bothered with this anymore, it's be freaking 8 years of this shit.
Yeah. 8 years. And I think I can count on 2 hands the amount of times I've done the evil deed in that period of time. I'm wasting my sexual peak on nothing.
Yay.
I'll keep talking to him, he's involved in music and I might get a musical cooperation or photography gig thru him, so that's never bad, and I'm not mad enough to torpedo him, we didn't even meet. Unlike Not So Nice Guy, he got pretty much torpedoed. I'll remain open to him I guess. I have no idea what his problem is...so, we'll leave it at that.
You know, if I had gone looking for this, if I had persued hard, I would understand it now working out at all (cuz that's par for the course). But he did all the persuing. Lordy.
Grey and yucko out there....again....getting rather tired of that too.
Only adds to my current mood.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
late night ramblings
Problem with napping during the day is that I won't be able to sleep at night.
Therefore, it's 1:07 am and I'm watching a new Law & Order Criminal Intent and writing on my computer. Well actually I was also doing stuff to my computer. Yay puter!
I'm thirsty, I'm yawny, and if I lived with someone other than just myself and 6 animals (ok 2 of them are reptiles), I would probably also be termed as crabby. Yeah I dare anyone to start with a woman who's had 3 migraine this week and is still on the freaking verge.
More stormy weather tomorrow. Yeehaw.
So my little crush from Facebook wants to meet me. I think it will be a rather combustible meeting, our discussions are something else already. Although I think he may be a bit chicken, so I'll just keep a lid on things and see what he does. I am not much of a chaser. Never goes anywhere if you do anyway as far as I'm concerned.
Dammitall I need an oil change. And I don't mean my car. I am almost considering luring this poor innocent thing (yeah that was a joke) and having my way, which believe me, is not my usual mo.
It's done been longer then I'd like to discuss. And the battery powered implements aren't doing what they should for me recently. I need a human. GAH.
Poor young thing. Doesn't bode well for him if he finally gets his act together and meets me.
Maybe that would help my migraine???? hrmmmm....
Guess I should stop watching Susanne Sarandon in "The Client" and hit the sack. It is almost 1:30. And I've done nothing to be proud of myself for today, at all.
Grrr.
Hope you all are having a more productive weekend than myself.
I'm just sitting and stewing or sleeping...feeling pretty useless.
Therefore, it's 1:07 am and I'm watching a new Law & Order Criminal Intent and writing on my computer. Well actually I was also doing stuff to my computer. Yay puter!
I'm thirsty, I'm yawny, and if I lived with someone other than just myself and 6 animals (ok 2 of them are reptiles), I would probably also be termed as crabby. Yeah I dare anyone to start with a woman who's had 3 migraine this week and is still on the freaking verge.
More stormy weather tomorrow. Yeehaw.
So my little crush from Facebook wants to meet me. I think it will be a rather combustible meeting, our discussions are something else already. Although I think he may be a bit chicken, so I'll just keep a lid on things and see what he does. I am not much of a chaser. Never goes anywhere if you do anyway as far as I'm concerned.
Dammitall I need an oil change. And I don't mean my car. I am almost considering luring this poor innocent thing (yeah that was a joke) and having my way, which believe me, is not my usual mo.
It's done been longer then I'd like to discuss. And the battery powered implements aren't doing what they should for me recently. I need a human. GAH.
Poor young thing. Doesn't bode well for him if he finally gets his act together and meets me.
Maybe that would help my migraine???? hrmmmm....
Guess I should stop watching Susanne Sarandon in "The Client" and hit the sack. It is almost 1:30. And I've done nothing to be proud of myself for today, at all.
Grrr.
Hope you all are having a more productive weekend than myself.
I'm just sitting and stewing or sleeping...feeling pretty useless.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
welcome to hell!
Ok.
The summer is almost done and I've had more migraines then I had all fall/winter/spring. How bad is that?
I swear to you, if more men got migraines I swear they would work harder at solving the mystery of them.
I know of 2 men that get them, a friend of mine and my personal trainer, but my personal trainer has figured out the key for him is food/eating patterns. My friend on the other hand has the same issues I do with weather.
So pills. Lots of pills and bed. Nice way to spend the weekend no?
The summer is almost done and I've had more migraines then I had all fall/winter/spring. How bad is that?
I swear to you, if more men got migraines I swear they would work harder at solving the mystery of them.
I know of 2 men that get them, a friend of mine and my personal trainer, but my personal trainer has figured out the key for him is food/eating patterns. My friend on the other hand has the same issues I do with weather.
So pills. Lots of pills and bed. Nice way to spend the weekend no?
Friday, August 1, 2008
I compute!
Ok, although I am typing this on the laptop from work, I am ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH MY NEW COMPUTER!!!
TD, mine arrived a week and a bit earlier then it's estimated delivery date.
Oh man worth the wait.
So I was up til almost 3 fiddling on it. Well, also yakking to the 7 year younger guy from Facebook as well. Monsieur Flirt as I have named him. Not sure what's up with that, but I enjoy the yak, we've talked getting a beer perhaps this weekend, and I could NOT get him off the computer regardless of him having to be at work super early today. Dunno. But we'll see.
It's the Highland Games in Montreal this weekend and you know what that means right?
MEN IN KILTS!
It also means redheads. Any Montrealers venturing out, the wild and crazy redhead on the other end of a Nikon is me. With the equally wild and crazy redhead - but she's shorter and has curls (BITCH!) There's funnel cake and beer and a hell of a lot of men to flirt with. How more perfect can a day get?
And being Montreal, it will of course, RAIN!
Sigh.
More crashes though!
I am also considering going to Nascar, a friend has a ticket she's trying to sell (think she told her husband he's not allowed to go roflmao). But not sure. The idea of watching Jacques Villeneuve crash is highly appealing though ;-) Bad Quebecer!
And my company shirt didn't show. My lunch bag and shirt. Goddamn. I have all the badge pulls I could want now though (I keep breaking the fucking things).
Ok if Monsieur Flirt wants to get together, where am I going to fit him in? Erm. He's cute, I'm sure I can fit him in somewhere. And keeps referring to me as babe and I haven't killed him (or wanted to). Hrm. Ususally I want to punch a guy out for that.
Maybe I'm growing up?
Naw.
Amazing how we realize the red flags we see and don't quite catch them at the time? That is a confusing sentence, but I do know what I'm trying to say.
Not-so-nice-guy made me feel anxious and I didn't realize it. Why do I figure that? Because Monsieur Flirt doesn't.
Bizarre.
Anyway, those are my musings for today.
None too intelligent, but that's lack of sleep and lack of coffee.
Is it bad I want to go home and fiddle with the computer instead of the millions of things I have on this weekend? My friend the computer geek tells me that unless I'm a geek, it is wrong lol.
Funny guy.
TD, mine arrived a week and a bit earlier then it's estimated delivery date.
Oh man worth the wait.
So I was up til almost 3 fiddling on it. Well, also yakking to the 7 year younger guy from Facebook as well. Monsieur Flirt as I have named him. Not sure what's up with that, but I enjoy the yak, we've talked getting a beer perhaps this weekend, and I could NOT get him off the computer regardless of him having to be at work super early today. Dunno. But we'll see.
It's the Highland Games in Montreal this weekend and you know what that means right?
MEN IN KILTS!
It also means redheads. Any Montrealers venturing out, the wild and crazy redhead on the other end of a Nikon is me. With the equally wild and crazy redhead - but she's shorter and has curls (BITCH!) There's funnel cake and beer and a hell of a lot of men to flirt with. How more perfect can a day get?
And being Montreal, it will of course, RAIN!
Sigh.
More crashes though!
I am also considering going to Nascar, a friend has a ticket she's trying to sell (think she told her husband he's not allowed to go roflmao). But not sure. The idea of watching Jacques Villeneuve crash is highly appealing though ;-) Bad Quebecer!
And my company shirt didn't show. My lunch bag and shirt. Goddamn. I have all the badge pulls I could want now though (I keep breaking the fucking things).
Ok if Monsieur Flirt wants to get together, where am I going to fit him in? Erm. He's cute, I'm sure I can fit him in somewhere. And keeps referring to me as babe and I haven't killed him (or wanted to). Hrm. Ususally I want to punch a guy out for that.
Maybe I'm growing up?
Naw.
Amazing how we realize the red flags we see and don't quite catch them at the time? That is a confusing sentence, but I do know what I'm trying to say.
Not-so-nice-guy made me feel anxious and I didn't realize it. Why do I figure that? Because Monsieur Flirt doesn't.
Bizarre.
Anyway, those are my musings for today.
None too intelligent, but that's lack of sleep and lack of coffee.
Is it bad I want to go home and fiddle with the computer instead of the millions of things I have on this weekend? My friend the computer geek tells me that unless I'm a geek, it is wrong lol.
Funny guy.
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