and I have returned

Ok so now that I've had a few heart to hearts with my current boss, been told by HR that even *they* aren't really sure what in hell is being expected of me, and again HR telling me we need to have a meeting with the new temporary boss, I'm feeling a bit better.

I work for a huge US firm in freight. If you can't figure out who it is, then you've been hiding under a rock. They've been voted one of the best employers, run companies etc etc etc in the US for years, and there is a reason for that, and seeing as this is my second go-round with them, I want to make this stick. They're great to work for, being a manager for them is fantastic, however, I am not getting back to the place where I am fearing going to work in the morning. Been there, done that, and really don't want to buy the same t-shirt.

So, I'm a bit more relaxed now. Phew. Blood pressure is coming down (which is a good thing considering it tends to be high). Going through a few things that are messing with my brain though, men, friends, all relationships in general, my work out and disappointment that I'm not losing weight as quickly as I'd like. I don't know. Just feeling uneasy.

I suppose I'm starting to feel a bit left out these days. Not left out due to others. Just left out. Maybe I do it to myself, I'm not sure, but I think one of my best friends having gone into a relationship and having forgotten that she has friends (hell, she's forgotten she has kids - and one is below 18!), the alienating comments made by her, another friend that is being pressure to spend time with a sister that hates me (one likes me , the other doesn't for reasons my friend hasn't figured out). Oh I don't know.

Ever wonder why things can't *all* go well at one time, just for a short period? As in, have a date, and it seems to have the possibility of going further, my weight loss is working, and the job is amazing? Nope. Just ain't happening!

So I went emotional shopping. I collect amber. Got a fabulously beautiful piece, green amber, piece of wood in it. It's gorgeous. And, I guess I'll feel prettier when I wear it out tonight.

Ah geez. I don't know anymore.

Anyway. That's the way it is.

Onward and upward?