feelin' the heat

So we're roasting here. Hello Montreal. No middle ground, just freezing your ass off in winter & drowning in snow, or dying in heat & humidity (it was the equivalent to 104F yesterday here with 70% humidity in case you Yanks don't get the 40C sitch). I think that rivals the weather in bloody Vietnam or something. Just gross.

It's festival season, I do not like shooting music festivals, so I have 3 band/singer songwriter interviews lined up for the next week. Fun fun.

The below post was premature. I can't go into anything really, because truthfully, I never want him to find this & be embarrassed by it. So really, all I can say is, I enjoy him, he enjoys me, nothing other than getting to know each other is happening (not that we wouldn't want more to happen but for certain reasons that's not possible) and I am waiting very impatiently. But I am thinking it just might be worth it :) which would be really nice.

We're hanging tomorrow night. Going to take some pictures. Should be good. We always enjoy time spent together.

Work is somewhat akin to insanity currently, I have more work then I know how to deal with, I don't think I can realistically stay at work as long as I should need to in order to accomplish everything I have to do, but I still like it, so a;ll of that is moot. One day at a time.

Essentially one day at a time is my mantra. For work, for him, for life.

rewind

I am so out of practice with this stuff. I'd forgotten, or maybe I never knew, that one has to open up and talk to people in order to get things out in the open and solved.

Thankfully, I'm dealing with someone that is an excellent communicator and does't sugar coat anything (ie no lies. really. not even if something would hurt me).

So. Things seem to be making some progress. There's nothing going on (literally) but everything all at that same time. It feels ok.

See. I knew this would happen. I would upset myself. Again. As I do every time someone is of interest to me.

I can't solve his issues, I can't force him to do what he wants to and is too afraid to do. I can't make anything happen in any timeline, especially not mine.

So it's time to give up. Back off entirely. Forget about it. Forget about him. Because it's not giving me what I want.

Not that I'll get what I want anyway. But whatever. That's for another post. Or not. Whatever the case may be.

I'm so sad. So so so so sad.