whhoooooooweeeee!

Ok I almost forgot I had a blogger account.

Yikes.

*runs around arms flailing, totally panicking*

I leave on Saturday. In theory. But it looks good.

Some meetings, some visits with friends. Oh my.

So much to do and so little time, I also need to be coherent at work.

So I'll be incoherent here.. :D

There's a man who's getting very excited at the prospect of my visit on the other side. Phew. I think chickenbutt has straightened his little brain out nicely.....

And I can't wait to get away. I used to travel all the time, and then I got married. End of.

I have to go back before Christmas..shame really....

I'll try to blog from over there, have free internet in the hotel....dunno if you'll hear from me before then.


weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no...nonononooooooooo

I do NOT like what's happening out of doors right now.

No, not one freaking bit!

EWWWW

Hot, humid, feels like you're in a sauna, except, you're standing outside. Just. Gross.

So I'm going out, to photograph a band, and that'll be that.

Tomorrow morning I volunteer at the Walk to End Breast Cancer, I do this every year, both days, I need to be at Jarry Park at 5 am (Uniprix Stadium for those tennis watchers, we just had a big tournament last week in which all the big famous dudes got trounced early on).

Yeah. 5 am. Yeehaw. However, then I have the entire day to me, because I'm done by 8 because all the walkers will be off! (I'm at late registration and money receiption...best table to be at, seriously!)

I get this hot t-shirt and a pass and it's all good! Oh and a hat that says I'm bilingual...woot!

Two weeks and I'm in the UK. WOW.

The Brit is ill, as in with the illness that he had when I initially tried to contact him in the spring, the thing that almost killed him? He was to go for an xray today to see if indeed that is what it is, but he says his symptoms are the same and he's having chest pain (read lungs).

We were scheduled for a chat and I haven't heard from him. Which explains this disjointed manic post, because I'm worried. I just emailed him to ask to PLEASE let me know he's ok asap (it's midnight there almost, he could have just fallen asleep because this illness exhausts you), or I'm going to worry. Much. Alot. If he gets admitted to hospital, then I won't know unless he lets me know or gets his brother to let me know.

Dammitall.

So, I'm going to have a glass of vino and dinner with friends and hope to get my damned mind off this, because, I'm sort of in freak out mode *hopes for a text but knows I won't hear til tomorrow*

so I got...

Nothin'

Family driving me insane with their insipid lists of why I shouldn't move, can't move, it's impossible to move.

Ok they're just driving me insane.

Work. It is.

Everything else. It is.

And now I am going to bed.

and calm has re-entered my life.....

After a week and a half of uncertainty, unanswered email, lack of contact, things seem to have reached normalcy.

The Brit, in his fear, was avoiding me. Not completely, because I'm that irresistible (hahahahahah, yeah ok right), but sort of avoiding the subject of last week's terror attack. His, not the Taliban's :)

I, at the urging of a male friend, attempted to leave it alone when an email on the subject went unanswered. Not an accusatory email, just a "hey, what's up? is there a problem?" email.

And leave it alone I did. For about 4 days. And then, I broke. I called. And he was so glad to hear from me, didn't say it out loud but started a sentence that he didn't continue "I thought....well.....".

We are back to normal. Normal in which I am planning on staying in the city at a B & B, because he's so afraid, but normal all the same. No more unanswered email, no more avoidance. Initiation. It's a good thing. And I'm feeling so very relieved.

Naturally next hurdle being that his new job requires shifts, one of which ends at 10 pm, and whether or not he'll be doing that the week I'm there. With my luck, he will be. Sigh!!!!!!!!

So. A big old phew, the lump at the pit of my tummy is no more. My friend J says that patience is needed with men, and to completely lay off, and to him I am eternally grateful, because he was completely right.

I swear having male friends is really helpful on occasion.

Photographed a techno band last night, I'm still bopping in my head, they were wonderful..... ended up there with a group of 5 male friends in the end, I knew they were fans, it was a blast.

So, I'm feeling good, and the Brit just emailed me, all on his own....I'm a happy happy girl right now.

confusion

I am a huge, heaving mass of conflicted emotions.

I am so confused.

I can't put any of it straight in my brain at the moment. What a mess.

and so...

Things have calmed down a bit at chez Myself...

The upset has turned into understanding, somewhat, and a bit of annoyance, somewhat, but we'll see what happens.

All going well when flying stand-by, a month from today I should be sitting in some pub in London UK having a brew or a g & t, with someone I know, The Brit, or friends, or just alone, and I will absolutely be loving every minute of it. I haven't been since 1992 I think. Up to that point, I had been 6 times previously.

I realized I have yet another person I know over there, he just moved about a year ago, and I was speaking to him and both he and his GF love it there. He's lived there once before, for her it's the first time, she accepted a job transfer.

I am so looking forward to this.

The Brit, is running scared. It's actually happening, one of us is going to visit the other, and he told me he's scared. I feel fear, but I don't run away from it, so I had a really really hard time understanding that he's just a guy (!!!) and maybe, being 2 doors down from his brother, 10 mins away from his parents, maybe he's never had to deal with change, and certainly never had to deal with an interest moving from a different country to his....even though he is well aware that any decision o of that nature in relation to my move doesn't have to do so much with him, more my job prospects and just general desire to live there, but it makes things a reality.

It's put a bit of a damper on things. I've backed off to where I don't make any contact, it's up to him, and although he's started his new job and is working full tilt (5 nights a week) at his other job, he is keeping in touch through his own volition.

I suggested perhaps he didn't want to see me when I'm there, and I got told that I was crazy to think he didn't want to see me a few times when I'm there. He had given me a complete indication that perhaps that was the case, but assures me it's not.

So. We'll see what happens with that.

I have so much to do during the day there. Info to seek, people to meet with, it's going to be crazy.

And I just can't wait!

cue the tears

So, I am really too tired to go into anything right now, but suffice it to say, I'm not a very happy camper.

Am I this much of a fool to believe?

I suppose I have to sit back and watch a good thing be pissed away. Or maybe it never was a good thing.

Who the hell knows?

men

I don't get 'em.

Period.